My very first castle visit

My very first castle visit - Casa Loma, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

A 98 room castle built on a hill overlooking Toronto.  It had 30 bathrooms, 25 fireplaces, 3 bowling alleys, a shooting gallery, a 1,700 bottle wine cellar, a library with space for 10,000 volumes and 5 acres of splendid gardens .  It was built by Sir Henry Pellatt a Canadian financier.  The owners only lived there a short while.  It has an 800 foot tunnel between the house and stables, towers and two secret passageways.  (City Sightseeing Official Tour Toronto Pamphlet and 2015 CAA TourBook).

Water fountain out front

The pink at the top is my finger.......     :-(      The ornamental cabbages were glorious and the hydrangeas would have been resplendent earlier in the season!

Thanksgiving Fall Display

I inherited an upright pump organ made of this dark wood, but this one is a fireplace.

A grand, carved wooden chair.

Look up....instead of gargoyles or cherubs, the castle was full of all different sorts of characters such as this one.

Looking up again was a knight...above him were the pipes for the organ, there is another picture later.

Fireplaces everywhere!

Grand piano...there were others.

This was the ceiling in one room with hand painted pictures.

Nice to have the stag with the rack of antlers overlooking the fireplace!

Not the greatest picture quality, but that is a moose head in the men's parlour/games room.

This was the sitting area overlooking the billiard table.  It was a place you wanted to spend time, no doubt!

One wall of the library.

A type of side board, china cupboard.

Dining Room

More like a throne than a chair.

A room ready for royalty...but an exceptionally short bed....people were much shorter in those days.

The next two pictures show the rooms for royalty.

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Looking down from the balcony at the organ.

Organ pipes...the ceilings are massively high, 60 feet!

The master's bed in his chambers....his wife had her own bed and chambers too.

Not sure I have seen a more nicely decorated mirror.

Pool season is pretty much over, but you can see the remnants.

There was an oriental room with this screen.

Elegant couch

Swank dining room suite

A modest room for a servant.

For more pictures and an in-depth story, please visit the website at www.casaloma.ca.

Slave to the Weekend

Every morning, each of us has to decide what we will do with that day.  If it's a work day, then the decision is made for us.  We get up,  do our morning routine, get ready and are off and out the door. We slip into forward gear and propel ourselves onward with a solid purpose for the day and for our lives.  We work hard at being highly effective all week, yet start longing for the weekend somewhere mid-week, as our drive starts to wane.  Come on weekend!  We look forward to not having to hear an alarm buzzer, or to not having to get up and shower immediately.  If we don't want to get dressed all day, we don't have to. We can read whatever we want on matters we find personally interesting. We can get up and move our bodies more so than being chained to a desk and computer so much of the time.  We can be outdoors all day and night if we want!  This is the merry-go-round of our working lives it would seem.

Yet, when the weekend arrives, that very thing we longed for may look very different than what we had pictured in our minds eye!  We have built up our hopes all week, and the reality may not always be what we thought.  Don't get me wrong, many, many weekends, we could have exciting occurrences and activities that energize us.  Yet too many weekends, "plan less", we will sleep in and lounge around for a time, recovering from the effects of burn out, just like a hangover, suffering from the very thing that sapped our energy in the first place.  As we loll about, we get to looking around our homes.  Oops!  It must have been the maid's week off, because the dust is settling thick on the furniture, the bathrooms are getting grimy, the fridge is a disaster, the dishes are piling in the sink, and the weeds grew faster than a speeding bullet in the yard.  We certainly have the opportunity to move our bodies, but do we?  We would rather read or watch TV.  The key seems to be making that first step...If you can get yourself moving even for a short time, it may turn into a productive day.  Sometimes, that spark of inertia just can't seem to get lit though and the weekend is in danger of becoming long and lost.  You rationalize that you can't work every solid minute.  You tell yourself, something has to give and what will that be?  Your household duties can always wait, and once again they do. I would love to hear the thought processes of those who maintain  a spotlessly clean home at all times...maybe it IS to have a maid?  I am afraid it has more to do with our self talk.

Remember, all people have time periods every month where they are not feeling 100% motivated, and to be blunt, where they actually feel like crap.  That is absolutely normal.  OK, but why does it have to happen on our days off?  No structure to your day you say...it would seem so.

It's not only our homes we examine on those carefree weekend days, it's the state of our social and family lives.  It's our relationships and spirituality.  We maybe make plans to get together with others. We may talk on the phone, or go for a drive or do some shopping together.  We crave human company from those who we can talk easily to and who will listen, those who make us relax, and who we can just be ourselves with.  We need our interaction fix with those we love and who love or at least like and respect us in return.   We feel guilty and let down with ourselves if we don't reach out.  Yet, sometimes the paralysis sets in.

One thing that may contribute to this issue is trying to tap into our creative and happy-go-lucky side and having the energy or not to do so.  I have read about the functions of the two sides of the brain. Steven R.Covey gives a great overview of the "Brain Dominance Theory" in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People".  

Although, people generally use both sides of the brain, one side tends to be dominant.  The left hemisphere is logical, verbal, deals with words, parts and specifics, analysis (which means to break apart), sequential thinking, and is time bound.  The right hemisphere is more intuitive, creative, deals with pictures, wholes and the relationship between the parts, synthesizing (which means to put together), simultaneous and holistic thinking,  and is time free.

Think about it, do you perceive the old lady or the young lady in the picture?  Overall, in things you do, do you see the big picture and obscure the details, or do you see the details and forget the big picture?  Neither is better than the other, both have merit and both have drawbacks.  I am a big picture person and I have seen it over and over.  When people say they see someone's eyes or something first, that would be the last thing I would look at.  The first thing I see is anything noticeably different or odd...maybe that's a form of detail, but generally it has to be something that really hits me in the face.

Ideally, we want to learn to use both sides, but often people tend to stay in their comfort zone. Although a simplification, the world appears to be dominated by left brain functioning.  Words, measurement and logic are enshrined versus creativity, intuition, and artistic aspects which tend to be a little less than.  Many of us find it more difficult to tap into our right brain capacity, so we strive for creativity and intuition where we can.  We paint, or write, or do crafts.  All satisfying and right brain activities.  What is it we are wanting to do on our weekends?  On our days away from work?  We are wanting to tap into our creativity, we are trying to look at the whole of our lives and put it altogether. We are navel gazing at the meaning of life.  Truly a right-sided activity if ever there was one, especially after a full week of left-sided ad nauseum work.

Recently, I have watched and read articles that say the popular 'multi-tasking' concept and the idea that we can do more than one thing at a time is faulty.  They say, don't kid yourself, your brain can only process a single entity at once.  I wonder about that because, you really can be in a teleconference, typing on your computer, reading a cell phone text, drinking coffee, and answering a question from a co-worker at the same time, can't you?  That's how the day looks for many.  Yes, these do tend to be sequential happenings I suppose....purely left-brain and logical

What if we want to try to juggle some balls....now that's right brained ...something simultaneous.. I have never been able to master the art of juggling.  I see juggling in many aspects of my life...I realize that is something I have a hard time with, but continually strive for.  I have to map things out in table format, because above all I am exceptionally visual and I guess, logical or left-brain.  I realize that driving although logical, can be like juggling at times..right brain.  I think others must find this a challenge too, based on the number of accidents.

An example of how our weekends are nothing if not combinations of both brain sides is when we plan a garage sale.  We have watched all year the sheer number of items that are encroaching upon our home space...zen....not much thought process here, just basic hoarding.  Again, the idea is a left-brain function, as we analyze (break apart) which items we have in our treasure trove that we can offer for sale. We wonder logically if we have the time and energy to devote to this.  We then use our right brain creativity as we think of how we will display those items on the table in the garage.  Beauty and cleanliness is everything...and organization.  A garage sale is time bound...we have to set a date and be ready by then (left brain).  It's great to get the body moving as you lovingly set up, take down and say good-bye to old tires, toys, clothes, gifts you received, and basically things that work (or not) - perhaps that comes from the reptilian section of the brain ha ha..

The part that is good for us is the day we open the garage door, get the cash box and float ready, then start visiting and meeting neighbours, family, and friends.  We make a few dollars and get rid of clutter...we have had our neurotransmitters activated and we experience happiness.  I think the garage sale is one of the best inventions and who doesn't love them?  When the place is filled with people that you are trying to attend to....it becomes a simultaneous process, a juggling act, and a right-brain activity!  :-)

We seem to have developed a preference for brain-sidedness, even though we may long for something different.  As you read Covey's book, you are introduced to ways to harness your thought processes and gain a little mastery over brain dominance.  He talks about expanding one's perspective and by using visualization and affirmation. You attempt to capture right-brain images by writing your own personal mission statement...Writing does crystallize your thought!  He even discusses family mission statements where input from every family member contributes to principles for a much greater buy-in and overall relationship.

Talking it out...writing it out....visualizing it.... helps...remember that if you remain strictly the left-sided hammer, what does everything else become?

What about Mom?

What do you love about your Mother?  They were asking people in the  street on the evening news and it got me to thinking.  Some said her cooking, some said because she looked after them when they were sick.

What do I love about my Mother? Well, everything!  She is yes, a fabulous cook and taught all of us kids and any grand kid who would listen, her tricks. We learned how to make anything from gravy to pie and every kind of cake and cookie.

Yes, as kids, she looked after us when we were sick, took us to the doctor, put iodine and band aids on our cuts and scrapes.  She sat up steaming me when I was little, night after night.  She held our foreheads when we threw up.  She put cool cloths on our fevered brows.  She put our feet in turpentine if and when we stepped on a nail.  She taught us how to garden, make pickles, freeze vegetables.  We shelled peas,cut up beans, cut corn off the cob.  She taught us to eat fresh radishes, onions, lettuce, swiss chard and to like it.  She taught us to pick berries and pick them over on a cookie sheet.

She taught us how to do the chores out in the barn.  We learned how to milk a cow, feed chop and carry the slop pail out to the pigs and chickens.  We learned to gather the eggs and butcher the chickens in the Fall. We learned how to run a cream separator and wash it after.  She taught me how to clean a house, sweep and dust, wash the woodwork, wash clothes and hang them on the line.  I learned every sort of housework you can imagine...change the sheets and iron.  She taught me how to cook and wash dishes for a crew of bush workers and to not complain.  She made me feel like I was needed.  She gave me credit for what I did and made me feel proud of myself.

My Mom is more than a teacher and caregiver though.  She is someone we trust.  She is someone who builds our self esteem and gives us a sense of accomplishment for any project we are involved with. She is someone we confide in and tell our deepest secrets.  She is the person we go to....She  is the one...the matriarch, the key person in our lives.

When we were kids living at home and still today, Mom has always made time after supper to just sit at the table and talk with whoever is there.  Mom always knows how to carry on a conversation with others.  It's a back and forth flow, giving everyone an opportunity to talk.  She is a good listener and knows how to support and encourage, but can still challenge in a kind way.  She knows how to say no, but told us that she always asks herself why before she says no.   I have since met people who's first answer is always no, and I always remember what Mom taught me.  We might sit and talk about just about anything after a meal for an hour or longer before we jump up and do the dishes.  I will always cherish our deep and meaningful bonding sessions then on the farm with my own family and today with anybody else who might be there visiting.

Mom has a knack for knowing exactly what she will be doing over the next few days.  She can tell you at the drop of a hat what she will be doing for the next week.  Not like me who has to weigh the pros and cons and see how things go.  She works hard during the day and knows for a fact that once the supper dishes are done that she will be relaxing...not be working.  Since she has been in the condo, she sometimes plays cards with the ladies, goes out to various activities, or watches TV.

It was Mom who made sure we learned how to swim and how to skate.  It was Mom who encouraged me with music and playing the pump organ and going to music lessons and playing in the school band. She was my role model for learning to sew and doing crafts.

It was Mom who has always gotten me through raising my own children.  She was there to give me a break when I needed it.  She always arrives laden with gifts and other treats...all things for us to look forward to including fresh baking.

Mom is talented in so many different ways.  She has a keen ability with numbers, writing and organization.  She runs committees and gets things done.  She is a doer, an achiever, and has the ability to get to the bottom of something like a true sleuth.

Things don't always work out in our lives, but for me, I was blessed to have positive things occur more often than not.  What I have discovered is that it was my Mom working somewhere behind the scenes who made many of these things happen for me.  My trip by ambulance from the Melfort Hospital where a full lunch was packed for me by the cafeteria staff is one example....I found out later that Mom was responsible for arranging all that.

Mom taught me that the only real failure is if we fail to try.  Even with any new job or adventure, I would be agonizing over what to do and it would always be Mom I would consult with.  She has always been the voice of reason, and once again asking me to ask myself "why not?"  Even with the grind of every day and the challenges that sometimes arise, Mom is there to talk it out with.


My Mom loves a good laugh and she knows how to laugh at your words and silliness.  She gets my jokes more than anyone I know...except my brothers and sisters of course,....they get me too, the same as I get them.  Mom is alot of fun and people love to be around her.  Her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, nieces, nephews and friends can all attest to this.

Home is wherever Mom is.    Mom is someone you can count on.  She loves us unconditionally as we love her.  Mom is a vast and ever-changing mystery.  She has the strength of Sampson and the wisdom of Jobb.  She is full of hilarious stories and the store-house of our history.  Her home is a shrine of memoirs that have meaning to us.   We are blessed to have our Mom and anyone who knows her realizes what a privilege that is.

Mom, the woman who is the love of our lives....would you agree?

Nutrition Tips

I am home from a conference where I heard a few great motivational speakers. The one today, Barb Bancroft is a Nurse Practitioner from the U.S. Check out her website at www.barbbancroft.com.

She gave us two humorous sessions with the first being about nutrition and all the myths and what we need to relearn.  We all know how the nutritional guidelines have jumped from one extreme to another over the years....mostly decades worth now...On the subject of weight gain and nothing to do with myths, for instance, she said if you eat a cup of walnuts,  you won't gain nearly the weight you would if you ate the same amount of mashed potatoes.  

I hope that was a joke, because what?? Why would I or anyone for that matter deliberately substitute mashed potatoes for walnuts?  Doesn't just about everybody love the taste of mashed potatoes?  I can't even feature having walnuts with a steak or pork chop, could you?  The bad news is that mashed potatoes, potato chips, and french fries are the absolute worst culprits for weight gain.  Who doesn't love them?  She told us that trans fats, carbohydrates and saturated fats light up the same brain areas that cocaine, alcohol and nicotine do.  Keeping that in mind, it doesn't take much to figure out how fast food and the brilliant marketing ploy of "super sizing" emerged.  She said that by 15 months old, the most popular vegetable has become the french fry....oh my goodness, I hope not!

Her next topic was that there may be more to the concept of obesity than meets the naked eye.  Simply put there are two types of bacteria living in our guts. Scientists found that if they injected extra "firmacutes" into rats rather than the other kind of bacteria, "bacterioides", those rats gained 20% more weight.  Humans are not all created equally.  Apparently, if your gut is comprised of more firmacutes than bacterioides, that could be the reason why you have a weight problem.  Interesting....because I have thought all along that there is more to obesity than simple supply and demand. Supply to eat the food and the demand for the muscles to burn off the calories..People don't plan or like to be overweight, so the situation really is more complex than we thought. The good news is that apparently, there may be probiotics one day in the future made up of billions of bacteriodes (the good bacteria) that just might help with weight loss.  So bring on the bacteriodes!

And by the way, eggs are once again not bad for you...they go in and out of fashion like shag rugs and toupees.  Do you know adults can safely consume 14 eggs per week with children at half that number? (7 per week).  It is recommended that diabetics follow the children's guideline too.  Did you know there's a connection between eggs and brain function?  Without eggs, you may be facing dementia. Eggs have a connection to acetylcholine which is what helps make you think. Every egg also has 41 IU of  Vitamin D ...not alot but better than nothing.  There are things in eggs that prevent  macular degeneration which is a disease of the eyes.  Also, buy the omega-3 fortified ones because those chickens are fed flaxseed...You can find them for sure at Costco.  Why didn't we know this when we were raising chickens on the farm?   My grandpa lost his sight due to macular degeneration, so guess what kind of eggs I will be buying from now on?

The whole idea of drinking 8 glasses of water a day is also flawed....Don't get me wrong, if you can do so, then go for it.  Apparently, the guideline was supposed to be 8 glasses of any kind of fluid...coffee, water, soup, Jack Daniels...And remember, serve your elderly friends and family fluids without asking if they want something to drink.  First off, if you ask, they'll tell you they aren't thirsty...and that's because of the decrease in osmoreceptors in their hypothalamuses...They usually never say no to ice cream, so serve it on up.  Water does increase your metabolism and can help you burn calories so keep on drinking.  It's great for diabetics too.  Barb reminded us that if you feel hungry to remember you might just be thirsty...She talked about a toddler who kept drinking out of the dog's dish and trying to get at the water in the toilet bowl.....guess what?  He was little diabetic in the making.

The myth that saturated fats are bad for you was clarified that it's trans fats that are bad for you.  In moderation saturated fats help protect you from atherosclerosis.  LDL cholesterol is the bad kind and comes in two forms - large and fluffy or small, dense and BB like (remember the BB gun?).  The small and dense ones are the ones that pack themselves into your artery walls.  Oh joy, all diabetics are said to have the BB-like ones.  She absolutely preached that all diabetics should be on a statin.  She knows all about the side effects, (scoffed at them in fact), but when she said the statins change the BBs to the large and fluffy kind, I saw the light.  I have tried several statins, with big side effects, but after her talk, I met with my doctor and am trying 1/2 of the smallest dose of prevastatin.  My cholesterol is high and all I could take was something called ezetrol, which I doubt is doing much good.  

Something else I found interesting was that the mammary artery is the only one in the body that does NOT fill up with fat.  That is why they use it for coronary bypass surgery now.  The other thing is that women don't routinely need added iron after menopause.  Men don't ever need it if they are healthy.  For children it is essential for vertical growth.  

There is little evidence that multivitamins help protect you from heart disease, stroke, cancer, memory or cognitive function.  Even if you take multivitamins, you are just as apt to get colds and other infections and stay sick just as long as anyone else.  Vitamins we do need more of are B12 and Vitamin D.
B12 makes red blood cells, helps to maintain nervous system myelin and contributes to serotonin production along with folic acid.  Essentially folic acid and B12 make you happy.  It takes five to seven years to deplete B12 stores in the body.  Vegetarians, those over 55, those with autoimmune disease such as pernicious anemia, those with malabsorption like Crohn's Disease.  People on protein pump inhibitors like for GERD and finally Type 2 diabetics on Metformin
are all those who should consider going to GNC or some place to get some.
B12 supplements come in a variety of preparations...but, don't exceed 3,000 mcg per day or you may experience anal itching like you've never had in your life.

If your B12 stores are depleted you could become demented, depressed, anemic and with peripheral neuropathy. Vitamin D is something essential for absorption of calcium and phosphorous.  In our part of the country we don't get enough sunlight.  If you do get sun, about 30 minutes gives you 10,000-12,000 IU of Vitamin D.  Kids should have 600 IU/day.  Adults at least 800 IU/day.  Don't go beyond 10,000/day x 3 months, or it can be toxic.  Vitamin D is found in several foods like salmon, tuna canned in water (not Albacore Tuna because too much mercury...buy the cheap stuff), milk, orange juice, yogurt, sardines canned in oil, and egg.  Finally, portobello mushrooms are good because they are grown under a UV light.  Take Vitamin D with the largest meal of the day.  It's a fat-soluble vitamin so fat in the meal boosts absorption by 57%.  Higher doses are needed for the elderly.

Muscle aches and pains can be from thyroid dysfunction, statins, exercise, and the erectile dysfunction drugs.  Generally when men in a doctor's office find out that their muscle aches are related to viagra the pain tends to subside!
Vitamin D boosts your immune system, prevents falls by increasing strong muscle growth.  It may improve asthma control by blocking lung inflammation and may also improve MS and Crohn's.

Another myth is about taking calcium supplements.  Evidence shows an increased risk of heart attacks when taking calcium supplements from increased coronary artery calcium.  They recommend no more than 700/day.  Adults 19-50, 1,000 mg/day; over 50 1,200-1500 mg/d.  Two to three glasses of low fat milk works just as well.  Cardiologist are saying no supplements is best, since you can get calcium from so many foods - yogurt, skim milk, tofu, broccoli, sardines, black-eyed peas, spinach, white beans, salmon, almonds, Total raisin bran, and corn flakes.  Incidentally, the broccoli floret has eight times more calcium than the stem.

Newest research says fish oil - omega-3 fatty acids basically don't help to prevent a first heart attack, a second, or subsequent ones.  It does help protect brain white matter, eyes, is anti-inflammatory, and slows the aging process.  Foods high in omega-3 fatty acids are salmon, mackerel (not King), tuna (not Albacore), Atlantic cod, sardines, Krill oil (Omega red).  Fish capsules stored in the freezer help reduce breath odor.  Non-fishy sources are flaxseed, omega 3-enriched egg, chia seeds, and walnuts.

Use olive oil.  It is a potent anti-inflammatory food.  Almost any kind of berry is great.

Nuts are not bad for you.  They are potent vasodilators but are high in calories.  Good nuts are walnuts, almonds, peanuts, pistachios, hazelnuts, chestnuts, and pecans.  NOT brazil nuts, cashews and macadamias.  Almonds and walnuts are sources of Vitamin E.  The macadamia nut is the highest nut in fat and calories. Two brazil nuts = 200 calories.  Remember you need portion control when it comes to nuts because one ounce is about the size of an Altoid mint tin.

Coffee appears to clean the liver and reduces risk and symptoms of Parkinson's. Coffee can be a potent bronchodilator for asthmatics.  

Well folks, that's the end of the list and the end of Barb Bancroft's tale.  Being a primary health care nurse in the past with a mandate for health promotion and prevention, I understand the importance of spreading the word when it comes to our health.  

Until we meet again!
  

I am wondering if you are also wondering....

I'm pretty sure we have all known kids who look, at least from the outside, to be spoiled rotten and who you can hardly stand to be around at times. I know we are all products of our own heredity and live with the cards we are dealt, and of course, this is the nature portion of the nature-nurture debate.  That age-old question, with the nurture part being the parenting and the child's environment. 

Do you think a child's personality can be influenced so strongly by the adults in their early lives that they grow up to be the classic bridezilla or her opposite toy boy?  Of course, but I don't mean by hugging, kissing, and loving them too much.  I mean by showering them with the wrong messages because of some of our own skewed attitudes.  You deserved....that wasn't fair.... etc.  I don't mean by plying them with material goods or telling them how smart and bright they are even when they're not NHL or model material.  But that could go wrong too.  Building a child's self-esteem is one of the most important things we can do, because God knows we have all known people who appear to have none and why is that? But can we go too far?  Everybody thinks they're a star now because they all get the medal or the trophy at the end of the game.  Is giving this treat or this "atta boy/girl" pat on the back a form of giving in? I don't think so.  With that line of reasoning the opposite could be true.  The lack of indulging or attention might make the child move too much the other way.  We need to strike a balance.

As parents, we don't know what to do when we find our children have "everything", they always seem to get their own way,  and have to be consulted on every little decision.  In effect, they seem to "rule the roost" without even crying or stomping their feet . We find we have fallen into a pattern to avoid the aforementioned behavior because it's just that much easier.  We worry we are letting them get away with murder and oh my, what will the neighbours say?  In reality, anyone understands the reason.  Why would anybody want to have to go through all the grief if you can do a "work around"?  But, hold on, don't you know adults who do the same thing? Husbands and wives, siblings, friends...we all know when to do the "work around".   It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall way back when to see how adults were treated as kids - were they over-indulged and spoiled rotten, or did they go without and become resentful because of it?  The old adage applies, "make sure your kids have money because if you don't they will do whatever it takes to get it".  

Do you believe that yes, children can become physically demanding and yes, if you cave every time they throw a twister or pout, then you may indeed be heading down that narrow path that creates your own little monster?  Do you think it's the power struggle behind the behavior that has to be looked at first?  Especially since those snits and bad moods are good forms of learning how to control people.  We all have a need for power after all, but learning the art of becoming a controller is an entirely different kettle of fish, just the way learning the art of being kind and caring is.  Not that there are any full-grown controllers in existence today...  How do children grow up to be sociopaths and psychopaths?  Is it nature or nurture?

Kids are all different, but believe me they usually respond to hugs, kisses, being held, and above all, cuddled.  Some kids demand, some kids shrug off....you could give some alot of presents and the first kid might open them then ignore everything in favor of riding their bike....The next would dive in and start happily playing with one gift and leave the others for later.  A third would scream because it was the wrong thing!  Digging into the reason behind each of these behaviors takes knowing your child.  Are they hungry, tired, frustrated or getting sick? Are they sick of presents and lonely for affection and friends to play with?  What are their priorities at the moment, have they been stuck inside for days and are dying to play outside?  Do you think what you want is more important than what they want? How are they feeling physically and emotionally?  Are their feelings hurt because you just finished yelling at them?  Not surprisingly a snack, an apology from you, a break from you, a drink of water, or a chance to get outside to play in the fresh air can be as useful as a much-needed nap.  The act of jumping on a bike and exercising is rejuvenating and a way to cope.  They need time alone too.  An outburst might be the only way the child can have a "voice".  Playing with one gift at a time makes good sense.   All of these reactions and activities are what adults do too, depending upon the situation.  If I've been cooped up in my office all day, I run to the fresh air on my way home, even if it's opening the car window a crack.

Although a better balance is to comfortably provide for our children, we do tend to try to give affection either the way we received it ourselves or in any other variation of ways.  We do what we know which goes along with that rule book you didn't get about raising kids.  The bottom line is we want to show them our love and bring happiness into their lives, but still rear respectful, community-minded citizens.  Keeping in mind that parenting and life can be challenging it helps to have something to look forward to.  Play dates do that...and are meant to be a lift especially when other activities are too expensive or not always possible. Boosting their mood on certain days can go a long way to help everyone cope when it might be an otherwise hard or tiresome period.  A trip to the store, the playground etc. can also help break up the day. You know how you feel when you get a nice surprise, it often perks you up...as does the fresh air.  You've seen the difference between a happy, positive, well-adjusted child and one who is unhappy, pale, moody, and generally in distress.  I'm not saying kids with planned or unplanned activities or having parents who are in tune with their wants and needs are better adjusted than those who don't, I'm just saying alot depends on the kids themselves. Would you agree that the causes are multi-faceted and complex and are different for each child in each family?  What happens in one family cannot be duplicated exactly in another.

Maybe if they're cranky they have a reason.  Have you ever thought they might have Pin Worms...don't laugh, because this affliction truly exists, especially for those who play in the dirt and sand and have pets.  If one in the family has it, chances are the whole family has it and everyone has to be treated, just ask your pharmacist to show you the meds and how they work.  Nutrition is also exceptionally important, along with enough sleep, fresh air and exercise.  If children are served  fast food high fat, high sugar, low nutrient foods often, will they have the same energy, health, and development as the child who eats whole foods and a well-rounded diet following Canada's Food Guide?  The most important thing you can teach a child it seems is how to fend for themselves in the kitchen.  Apparently a large part of the obesity epidemic in this world is caused directly by adults who don't know how to cook and load up on drive-thru and junk food.

Anything can be taken to the extreme and many children nowadays have multiple sets of families because of things like death and divorce.  So much love, affection, and support is extraordinary and wonderful.  The gifts at Christmas and birthdays for these children can become really huge from a whole assortment of extended family.  In addition, there are the birthday parties with all the little friends that go round and round year after year.  Kids certainly have no shortage of toys.  Will this harm the child?  Do you think that, if these children are shown this much love and multiple times over, it can be bad, other than if it has gone to the extreme? Maybe these children who receive so much will learn to give to others less fortunate.  Maybe they will not hesitate to share some of what they have.  Rather than raising little princes and princesses with a sense of entitlement, we will nurture a whole new generation of caring and generous adults the likes of which the world has never seen.  It could happen.

However, at the opposite end of the spectrum, if the child gets to the point where you are absolutely fearful for them..For instance, the whole session of gift opening causes such distress, crying, tantrums etc. that you are ready to cry too....then think about an alternative...If after opening the 300th gift he/she is still looking around and crying for more...Does Plan B needs to be executed and what does Plan B look like?  If you already exhausted the physical and emotional questions and rationale described above maybe Too Much Hype is Just Too Much Hype and even the birthday boy or girl can't argue that.  Ask yourself and them why...get talking about it.  No don't ask why because they won't know the answer.  They will only know they feel confusion...When the sweet, entertaining nature of your child turns to pure aggravation a new plan is required.

What can parents do?  Is it possible to get on the same page first?  First the parents and then children need to have the discussion to try to present a united front.  Could something else work?  If all the gifts have to continue, could they be doled out like Halloween candy and re-introduced on one of those drearier days when everybody has cabin fever?  Could they be shared with other children who have less?  Could the discussion circle be widened so that the practice of re-gifting becomes accepted as a reality and not seen as a slight to the giver? Could some of the presents be cold, hard cash or funds for future education, a bond?  Could the parents ask that the extended family do something else like take the kids on an outing to the movies, skating, swimming, to the zoo, or even a visit to grandma and/or grandpa's house?    Do you think wise parents are having birthday parties at places where the kids can be physically active for a reason? First, it's less work, and saves the house mess, but the gift of togetherness remains and the gifts become secondary.  Perhaps one day the gifts will fizzle out entirely based on the cost of the event, but for now gifts are very important, so don't hold your breath.

Do you believe that kids get sick of store-bought toys?  As long as your child can say what they want for a toy, that means they still want them.  After all, the TV ads are not going to stop anytime soon unless we all make a move to nothing but Netflix.  There will always be something new out there to catch their eye.  Even so, the old toys keep coming around as something new and unique too.  If a child gets to the point of not wanting anything new, then you will surely get the message and pass that along to all those who love him/her.  For a kid, a cardboard box or a laundry tub and blanket can provide hours of entertainment.  At my house, boys and girls alike have served me tea on numerous occasions from the pink miniature tea set and have brought me the play phone where I have received multiple calls....mostly from mommy and daddy.  We have a top and a jack in the box that has tended to cause quite a stir and much giggling and running away to hide before he pops up.

Chocolate bars, penny candy, (showing my age here), or a toy aren't the only treats...Maybe a visitor who sings a goofy song that you make up together, that you teach them and they sing along with you.  It might be a game they love like "I spy" or wrestling that you get down on the floor to do.  It might be some other thing that makes them laugh, like "remember when you were little and you used to say......"  But moms and dads need change and relief too and that's why it's so important to have other adults and children interacting...like extended family, neighbours, and friends.  We are challenged.  We need to balance our showering of affection on these most precious beings with providing their training.  The training is how to be the awesome human beings and stalwart citizens they will get to become for decades. As adults, have we all reached the goal that our parents may have set for us? Some did, some exceeded, and some didn't and never will.


Time is the greatest gift.  If you interact with them that is what they will remember.  If you make them feel proud because they worked hard on something and then were rewarded for it, what's wrong with that?  Wise parents rotate toys and clothes and recycle them. Wise parents dole out sweets, otherwise the wee ones on their sugar high would surely storm the guard!  Being at home all day every day with the same people has it's trials and tribulations.  The day can get long and everyone's rhythms are not always in sync.  Going to school is tiring and that continues from the time you are in pre-school and kindergarten until the day you graduate.  Then you get to go to a new job to work harder and longer hours than you ever dreamed possible.  It's life as we know it.  I vote for the three hour work week, anybody with me?  Now that's a reward worth talking about.  :-)

What of the demanding child?  Is there not a place for him or her in society?  Do we want all "good girls and boys" who do exactly what they are told?  If we do, who will be the ones to stand up to the bullies and the aggressors of our playgrounds and countries?  Learning to get your own way may not be as bad as we think.  If you want to survive in the world of work and business, you had better learn how to deal with power and recognize when someone else is hogging it all.  We are all born leaders and we all need to craft this skill.  We are not raising bullies, we are raising people who can lead, collaborate, and negotiate to make a better society.  Hug them, spend time with them.  Praise them.  Respect them and make them feel good and important about themselves and their family.  Apologize when you lose your temper.  Show them that it's OK to make mistakes and own up to them.  Let them know you are proud of them and speak up on their behalf, if you don't who's gonna?

When you are a parent you have a definite agenda for your children.  You want them to turn out a certain way and feel like you have to be the heavy to get what you want.  That's called power.  In essence, there's a huge imbalance of power between you and your child.  They try to exert theirs in the small ways they can.  Please remember that.  They aren't bad....they are only trying to have a little bit of a say in their little worlds.  When you go to raise your voice....ask yourself if you need the full measure or could you have the same effect at half the volume  Do you have to always go to full-blown rage to get action?  Could you tickle them and get them laughing instead?  Remember too much tickling can become a type of abuse, so little tickles for a short time please.  Could you put on some music they love or offer to read a story or let them run around naked after their bath?

Children are only that for a very small window of time.  They have to learn to navigate a  big world and it is our responsibility to nurture them to get them there.  Will they be able to cope?  If you can, they surely will, given what you have taught them.  Given what you know about how they behave today, do you think that will show any resemblance to that by the time they reach eighteen?  I have learned from a psychology instructor that after thirteen, processes are pretty well set and it's difficult to make major changes in any child.

Remember to be grateful for the child you have entrusted to your care and be thankful for their innocence, their health, and above all their unconditional love of you.

Diabetes...the Continuing Saga .... 

Llooking back on a doubling up episode from a few moons back...like before Christmas.
   
     Do you know what it's like to have a daily regimen to follow in your life?  I mean diet, pills, insulin, and exercise.  Usually everything goes fairly well, but sometimes things fall off the rails.  Like sometimes I forget my supper pills, especially when I step out of routine, only to find my bedtime blood sugar has hit 16 mmol/dL for instance.  That's high and I'm shocked when it happens and then look in the pill box only to find the pills still sitting there.  Seems they really do work.  I take two types of insulin every day and have always worried that I will somehow take the wrong one at the wrong time.  Indeed, I have caught myself reaching for the wrong "pen" umpteen times, especially at bedtime.

     What I don't usually worry about too much are my pills.  However, tonight I have made a giant blooper.  For some reason, at bedtime, (a time when I don't take any pills at all), I was thinking about something else and went into my pill box purely out of habit.  You know how you punch a code in automatically, but if somebody were to ask you the numbers, you might not be able to speak them out loud?  It's so wired into you.  I suddenly woke up  mid-act and realized it's only Friday and I'm working on my Saturday morning pills!  Already, I had swallowed one and a half Metformin tablets (for diabetes) and my daily dose of Cozaar for hypertension (one tablet) by the time I realized that what I was doing was wrong.

  Since I had already taken my full daily dose of Metformin by supper time tonight, and I only ever take Cozaar in the morning (it lasts for 24 hours), I'm beginning to feel the effects of doubling up.  That's not such a great feeling.  So, I backed off the numbers quite a bit on my bedtime insulin, because I have too much Metformin on board now.  The Cozaar will lower my blood pressure even further, so that isn't a good situation either.  I think my best bet is to go to bed and hope to feel better by morning when the a.m. blood pressure med is  wearing off and hopefully the Metformin too.  This is going to screw me up for another whole day before I get back on track.  I also had two slices of toast and peanut butter and honey just to be on the safe side.  I also had a glass of milk.  I am getting a headache, but I am also really tired.   I'm more worried about the blood pressure actually than the low blood sugar, but neither is any picnic to deal with.

    And so it went, and now, these few months later, I am still alive and well and the crisis was averted, survived, and lived through.  My goal is to try not to do that again!!!

Back in January...looking back at a trek to the mall..

     I got some exercise today at noon which helps overall.  I walked to Midtown Plaza, which is a big mall several blocks from my office.  The weather here is bitterly cold and there's a wind.  Believe it or not, there were a few pan handlers out asking for change.  You have to give them credit for their tenacity. One guy was tall and thin and possibly in his late 50's.  His face was absolutely beet red.  I was trudging along in my big, long down-filled winter coat with the hood up and gloved hands stuffed in my pockets.  Another guy was sitting cross-legged on the cement sidewalk.  You couldn't likely find a colder spot than that, even in the Arctic or in Winnipeg at the corner of Portage and Main.

And finally, Spring, we think...

But today is March 8 and man the weather has warmed up so that it looks like we're in the middle of Spring.  Of course, being a good Canadian, I don't truly trust this reprieve, because like everybody knows, it could be here today and gone tomorrow.  A real fairweather friend so to speak.  My vehicle is filthy and I discovered my rear windshield wiper is only doing half the job...but you couldn't find a happier person, because I LOVE Spring.  I've waited weeks and weeks for it's arrival and I ain't complaining one bit now that it's here.  

The humidity in my house has been down to 17% most days and that's even with a pot of water bubbling on the stove.  I intermittently turn the showers on and let them steam the place up and that helps too.  So, with the snow melting outside for the past couple of days, the humidity inside has jumped to 22%...Crazy I know!  I'm beginning to think from this cold and cough I've had since early February, that some time in the future I'm going have to make a habit of going to Victoria for a week or so this time every year just for the beautiful, ocean-side air.  I absolutely love it there!




     

Winter Musings with Fall Remembrances

Looking back in February to musings from September when I said...

Oh barf and whine! I cannot believe the leaves are already turning colour and it's only mid September.  Somehow, it seems to have happened earlier this year.  I guess it's because the summer was so short and things never really got seriously warmed up until July....What?  We're down to three month summers now?  Last year, I think it snowed to stay in October so with no real reprieve from the cold, we gave winter the lion's share of the year (like more than nine months).  I for one am feeling gypped.  

We wonder why some folks in other parts of the world think we live in igloos.  It's getting to the point that they aren't far off!  And no, we don't live in igloos or have polar bears roaming around in my part of the world.  I suppose if you set your cap as the crow flies and started walking true North, you would eventually hit the barren tundra with all that entails.  But I for one have no intention of going to that extreme any time soon.

This year, it's been a pretty good winter in Saskatchewan...didn't snow til mid November and we've only had a handful of bitter cold....not too much to shovel, but even so...we're getting antsy for Spring...whine, whine and snivel!  In two days it went from -32 C with a 20 mph wind to today where it was -1 with a wind.  No wonder people have colds and flu...just when you're dressed for the Arctic, you start to sweat and vice versa!  It wasn't such a picnic for those who live in the Maritimes though.  They had so much snow in some cases, they couldn't find their cars or open their front doors for snow piled high.  On the West coast, in some parts of B.C., it's been such a dry winter, there's no snow, and they're already worrying about fire season.

Oh well, such is life and it could be worse.  Don't you hate those Canadian phrases?  We could live where they have earthquakes, tsunamies, cyclones, hurricanes, and tornados. So! We do have tornados, but they aren't nearly as widespread or as devastating as some places.  Our severest weather tends to dip past either end of the thermometer.  In summer, it can get brutally hot and drum up a wild rain storm with thunder and lightning in no time flat.  In the midst of everything, it can cool right down, go deathly still, then come around with vengeful, damaging winds and hail. Plow winds are pretty common in this part of the world and they play havoc with uprooting trees and throwing anything around that isn't nailed down.  Steel bins, trampolines, dog houses and you-name-it are found all over creation when it's all said and done.  In the winter, snow storms can turn into blinding blizzards, but worse yet is the frigid, relentless deep freeze enhanced by a wind chill...I'm told that if you're considering whether to plug your vehicle in, you don't have to factor in the wind chill.  Hmmm....does that make sense to anybody?

Back to September it would seem...and a reminder of how it was...

I noticed for the first time this morning on my drive to work that suddenly there are certain trees that shivered overnight and dropped their leaves.  The bright yellow colours contrast beautifully against the sharp green carpet of grass laying below.  It's not yet cold enough to see your breath at that time of day, so those frosty fingers of cold  must creep in long after dark to coax the leaves off and to do their dirty work.  They are like chameleons as they make like a tree and leave... as quickly as they came.   The days are warm this week, with temperatures hitting the mid twenties.  We used to call this Indian Summer, but that's not likely politically correct anymore.  Driving downhill on Ravine Drive you get to see the river basin in all its glory and head on.  The view is breathtaking all year long, but best in the Fall, with the tapestry of fire-like colours -crimsons, oranges and yellows.   Every day I want to stop and take a picture and every day I say, "tomorrow".  

What a fool....now in February,  I could stop and take  pictures of the blanket of white snow and the beautiful frozen landscape with trees that glitter and tinkle in the sun and wind.  But soon, I might be able to catch the tiny little window of opportunity when on the river the ice starts to break up and in chunks it drops, drops, drops over the weir....That is one of the most mesmerzing natural events to witness.  I hope you get a chance to be taken in and held spellbound too come about March or April...

My uncle passed away on Valentine's Day.  I think he planned it as a day nobody would forget!    He was 79 and had been ill and hospitalized for several months. Those who knew him wouldn't be able to help remembering him in his prime.  As someone said, if you ever met him, you would never forget him.  My son and I had driven to Regina for his funeral.  It had rained overnight and left the highway a complete sheet of ice between Davidson and Lumsden.  I expect nearer the two big cities, they had salted the roads, but in-between, no.  Luckily we were in his gigantic black Chev Silverado truck with enormous tires and 4x4 and all the other bells and whistles.  Not that those things will stop you from sliding if you're going to, but they did seem to help.  Not to mention my son was an awesome driver. :-)

We drove past vehicle after vehicle in the ditch...some on their rooftops and with police tape wrapped around the entire vehicle....more than one I'm afraid.  Some still had the driver sitting there...one was a semi trailer unit pulling extra trailers and unable to get up a mere approach...To the rescue came a big, big loader with a bucket full of sand to help with traction.  We also saw a huge yellow snowplow dump truck sitting there, obviously slid off the edge of the road and stuck in a snowbank.  We didn't see any graders in that sense of the word, I expect the trucks with the ability to haul something and having a big blade are a smarter way to go.

At the funeral, we were late, but were able to be there for the last half hour of the service plus join the slow trek to the cemetery.  The sun had come out by this time, even though it was still snowing very lightly.  While standing at the graveside with bowed heads, we could feel the snow pelting down the backs of our necks.  It was a short, but wet and cold reminder that the elments generally win given half a chance.. Or was it Uncle Lionel?  He used to play the most awful pranks on me....like putting an ice cube down the back of my neck to wake me up if I was sleeping in....that is exactly what it felt like!  Regardless, Uncle Lionel had a lovely service and we were glad to be able to attend.

That reminds me of a story about Uncle Lionel.  He was a great outdoorsman, fisherman, hunter, etc.  When I was a teenager, I would go and live with their family in the summers to help work in their confectionary.  I remember him spending hour after hour diligently sewing a canvas-type tent trailer to fit on the back of their truck.  The family was going camping and those tent trailers were becoming popular in our part of the world it seemed.  It was the late 1960's I guess.  The day came and he meticulously erected the camper tent on the back of the truck...loaded up the family and off they went for points unknown, at least by me.  I was left to watch the store and my other uncle was bringing my cousin to stay with me.  It wasn't an hour later that the little group was back.  Lo and behold, the tent had blown off the back of the truck when they started down the highway....  

I tried not to smile and my aunt tried not to laugh or say I told you so... That did not stop my uncle....he  went back to the sewing machine....made the necessary repairs and soon they were gone again.  I never did know if he folded the tent and laid it in the back of the truck or what, but I can imagine.  I was too busy trying the Tipped Old Port Cigarellos...drinking pop and eating chocolate bars...

One thing about going to the other side, at least for Uncle Lionel he will be received into the company of a great number of his old hunting and fishing buddies.  My dad, uncle Jerry, grandpa, Merton and Donald to name a few.  He and dad used to argue about the best way to cook eggs in the hunting shack if you can imagine...Now they will be able to sort that out, I'm sure!