Adventures With a Mouth Guard

Adventures With a Mouth Guard

I was at the dentist for a checkup and he remarked that the back of my front teeth were worn smooth.  I was surprized because I had no idea I ground my teeth at night.   He asked if he "had me in a night guard yet?"  I said, "no".  He said, "well, you really need one and what do you think about getting fitted for one?"  Without even thinking, I snapped back quite hautily (like I had the choice), "I wouldn't wear one anyhow!"  I went on to say something to the effect that I couldn't even imagine trying to wear one...what with my mouth full of some foreign object all night, I would likely choke to death in my sleep or worse yet have slobber running down the corners of my mouth into my ears or directly out the front of my mouth onto my chin and splashing onto the pillow.  Not a pretty thought. I have seen telltale signs on the pillows of known slobberers and I definitely never want to start going down that path at the ripe old age of 58.   I even portrayed for him and his friendly assistant what it would sound like if the phone should happen to ring in the night if I forgot about my mouth guard and accidentally tried to talk..."Herroo...who isth thith? 

They both laughed but neither gave up there.  The dentist went on to describe very firmly, but nicely that there are only two situations occurring in my mouth environment.  Pressure on the teeth due to grinding force and bacteria making their way into places they wouldn't normally go because of how things get loosened or cracked.  He went on to say I should have been into a night guard years ago and that in itself was the only reason for the multiple crowns I have in my mouth today.  I was dumbfounded and said, "nobody has ever told me this before, how come?"  He had no answer to that, since I am a new patient of his over the past couple of years.  Talk about throwing good money after bad.  Those crowns cost a fortune and I have had several.  The best one of all is a gold one.  The others my gums seem to react a little to. 

So, I reluctantly asked what would be involved.  Well, at the top of the pros and cons list was that even though they take impressions of both top and bottom teeth, I would only have to wear the bottoms.  That did make me feel a little better.  I would need two more appointments, one for taking the impressions and one for the fitting once the guard was made.  I asked the cost...."only $400".  I sighed and thought to myself, "Oh great, just what I need, a nice, cheap mouth guard...that I don't want to wear".  Geez...

I went home and phoned my mom and told her I had the day from hell, being told I have to start wearing a mouthguard on top of all the other b.s.....you know the drill, four needles a day, diet for life, ten foot high snow piled on either side of my driveway, being the fricking boss all the time and on and on. It was obvious I was whining, but sometimes you just have to.  It's like a dog that just has to get so many barks out a day to meet his quota....if he doesn't he's just not happy.   My problems pale in comparison to hers so I'm not sure why I thought I should lay this all on her, but she's my mom and that's what kids do.  She's darned near 80.  She just had hip surgery and only now, nine months later, has started to feel less pain thanks to physiotherapy.  She listened like a trooper anyhow and didn't let on that I was being ridiculous.

The next day, my co-workers regaled me with stories about people in their families who wear nightguards.  I guess they were trying to make me feel better.  In fact, several have had one for a long time...and, "it's not that bad".  Inevitably, though, at some point, they all chew right through them.  In fact, one husband chewed right through his on the very first night.  One chewed through hers and had to get a metal one, oh joy.  As a sidebar, she said she doesn't wear the thing that often.  I can see why.  Degrading.

When I told one of them my fears about the slobber and the choking, she said, "look, it's not some big hockey mouth guard, it's only a thin piece of silicone that lays over top of your bottom teeth!"   I said, "oh."  I couldn't fathom it regardless.  I could however think of some other words starting with the letter "f" that would better describe what I wanted to say.

So the days went by and the first appointment came for me to get the impressions.  It's like putting your teeth in this cold, metal trough full of thick, pink gum that hardens up.  It's very fast, but the time gets long if you start choking or something, which I usually do.  You do this procedure twice for tops and bottoms and then you can go home. 

About a week later was the appointment for the fitting.  The same assistant that I had made friends with the first time was there and seemed happy to see me.  She had a mask on, but I think she was smiling...at least with her eyes.  She told me everything there is to know about the night guard.  First off, always return it to it's green case when not in use so as not to be hunting all over the place for it.  Apparently, most people unknowingly remove their's in their sleep and they can wind up almost anywhere in the bed...mostly under the pillow.  The second reason to return it to its case is if you have a pet, especially a dog.   I guess the mouth guard winds up smelling like you and the dog gets all excited that you bought him a new chew toy with your scent on it.   It is very important to brush your teeth and floss before putting it in your mouth because otherwise a new warm, dark, moist environment is created for bacteria and other bugs to grow between the mouth guard and the bottom teeth.  She advised wearing it around the house for awhile, you know, doing dishes, watching TV, just to get used to it.   Verra cute.

The next step was to run it under warm water to heat it up.  I put the nice warm guard in my mouth and felt the unusual sensation.   It was big and flat on the top.  I began to realize this must be what false teeth feel like and said as much once the dentist arrived.  I even jutted my bottom teeth out to prove my point.  Again they laughed.  He had me open my mouth so he could see how it fit.  He also asked if I thought it fit.  I said I had nothing to compare it to so wouldn't know if it fit right or not.  Sort of the same reasoning why I don't buy Tofu.  I wouldn't know on purchase if I was buying the rotten one or the good one because they all look the same to me.  He encouraged me to wear it as much as possible and I made a pact to at least give it a try.  After he left, the dental assistant gave me a special treat...my impressions ... both sets.  They were all wrapped up in bubble wrap and put in an envelope.  She said to keep them in my sock drawer, because, and got quite vague at this point, but that I might need them again.  (I was onto her though, because I already know people chew right through them).

So last evening after supper, I put the thing in my mouth for practice.  I did everything I was told, including brushing, and flossing.  At first, I was all mouth, no denying it.  Then I got involved in a TV show and forgot about it twice.  I thought to myself, "one thing about having a mouthful of plastic, it sure helps cut down on the late night snacking".  I kept it in all evening and then went straight to bed.  I even had a drink of water over top of it. I read my book as usual for a little while after climbing into bed and didn't have any initial problems.  I started falling asleep and woke myself up when I realized I was chewing the living hell out of the night guard.  It made me laugh because it was for all the world exactly the same as a dog chewing on a bone.  All I could think was that if my brothers could see me they would be killing themselves laughing.  I did go to sleep waking up once about 3:00 a.m. to marvel that I hadn't choked to death and another when the alarm went off.  As I dozed back to sleep, I realized that I was giving that chunk of plastic the workout of it's life...again!  I actually had to force myself to stop the chewing because I discovered it is  really a highly pleasurable activity.  Must be that centre in your brain that looks after animal instinct.  So, as you can see, I'm definitely identifying with our four-legged friends.  Unbelievable, but this is how our lives progress.  Normal one day, ... chewing on a hunk of plastic the next.  Oh, the irony.





 

Communication Train or Bane?

      Communication should come naturally and flow smoothly like a gentle river, right?  The other person should know implicitly what you are meaning, no matter what you say, right? Not so much and not always.  Some people seem to be born communicators, at least in their own eyes and possibly in the eyes of others, but some people have a much harder time.  Some people have a self-image that is perfect, yet others around them see things quite differently.  The person with the perfect self-image tends to have a skewed idea of how they behave.  They will tell you the perfect way to communicate and yet not follow their own rules.  (I hate to say it, but we can all be lumped into this category at some time or another any time in our lives).

     The most difficult people I find to communicate with are those who won't listen.  Remember, we all want the floor and lots of it, right?  Personally, I want people who will listen to me and so do you.  Selfish, you say?  In the training to become a nurse, communication lessons take up a fair chunk of the curriculum.  We are taught that we should listen more than we talk.  After all, we were given one mouth and two ears for just that reason.  As a result of this type of training; teaching communications classes; doing health counselling; being a manager/supervisor/mother/daughter, and friend, I tend to have attracted certain people in my life who want me to listen to them.  Apparently, they find my therapeutic listening skills helpful in some way. I'm not saying I know anything about communication more than the average person, I'm only saying I know when it feels good and when it doesn't.   Unfortunately, a minute number of the people I have attracted don't seem to understand that their communication style although working for them, is not working for me.   This is called immediacy and needs to be addressed when it happens.  Immediacy describes what's happening at the moment between the two communicators.  If you don't say anything, you become part of the problem.  What happens when I want to have a say?  Can I get what I want to say in when I know I'll be interrupted before the end of the first sentence?  What happens when I need some empathy?  If the person has no idea what the word empathy means, then it's pretty tough to get them to try to walk in my shoes.  What happens when I just need support and encouragement and not have them taking over my whole problem and telling me what to do and how to do it?  If I don't get my needs met, this is when the friendship/acquaintance/relationship could begin to break down.

     To communicators out there, please ask yourself some simple questions.  Do you find people who seem to stiffen around you?  Do they sometimes get mad at you for no real reason, or avoid you altogether?  Have you ongoing relationship issues with coworkers for instance?  Perhaps you are one of these types of questionable communicators.  Do you seldom let the other person finish a sentence, let alone a story, before you interrupt to get back to your own words and train of thought?  Do you find yourself not hearing what the other person is saying because you are too busy planning what you are going to say next?  To me this could be a sign of  poor self-confidence or over-confidence, but I'm not sure which. Worse yet, do you consider others stupid?  Listen to yourself.  Do you actually talk about people and say they are stupid out loud?  Do you "suffer fools all around you" so to speak so that nobody seems to know anything but you.  You don't have to say this out loud because actions speak louder than words. 

     When you do allow the other to speak, are you criticizing their every action and topic to the point that only your way is the right way?   Do you hold yourself out as the most experienced on a subject such as finances, or the most educated on the law, or the best judge of everything including child rearing, driving, which restaurant to go to, purchases, or how to act in public?  (What about the best at communicating?)   As for you and I, who appointed either of us judge and jury over anything?  Do you discount your friend or child to the point that they quit telling you anything of importance or interest?  If you are overly talkative, do you notice your friend or others withdrawing from you?  If you are usually the listener, do you find yourself withdrawing from the speaker or speakers because they are becoming too large in numbers and you are withering away?  God forbid any of us are like that, but sadly we all need to take a good look in the mirror and see if we are that person.  Are you the type of person that upon meeting up has to update your friend/coworker about everything that has happened in your life since you saw them last, even it takes two hours of you talking non-stop?  Although you might get away with it, you might not.  Sometimes whoever you are talking to is considered a captive audience because they are too polite to walk around you to get out of the situation.  After all, they are your friend, right?  They don't want to hurt your feelings.  If it's a social setting and you are hilariously funny, you might get away with it,.  The practice gets old fast in the workplace, and especially if it involves running others down.

     Another type of person not only does not allow you to finish your sentence, but goes off on a tangent of their own.  They may not be admonishing you, but simply making sure that they 'one-up' you at every turn.  Your story, in every single, solid instance reminds them of one with someone in their life.  They talk over top of you and louder than you in order to get you to stop and give it over to them.  I find people from large families tend to have developed this strategy in order to be heard throughout their lives.  The only difference is their story is much richer, their situation much more grave, much more interesting, their illness much more profound, their accident far more emergent than yours.  After awhile, there's not much point in sharing, because you can predict the outcome and may find it laughable or have your nerves jangled one more time. 

     If you like story-telling as a way to teach a lesson (as many women do), remember this needs to be done in moderation.  After awhile, one more story especially from some remote time in your life might just be enough to send everybody over the edge..Teachers are really bad for this and I should know, I was one of them.

     Even though I've been trained to listen to you, remember, I am a person too.  Conversations and communication need to be two-way.  Just because you like to hear yourself talk and know you know far more than most other people, please don't discount the other person's input.  I agree, some people talk out their you-know-whats....they're full of b.s......they distinctly have no clue what they're talking about, but they deserve a chance to have their say, just like you.  Sometimes you meet someone who rants and raves about life, society, or current events.  They are racist and bigots and offend you with their language and swearing.    Others seem to have a type of verbal diarrhea...not the bacterial type that you can take an antibiotic for, the viral type that has to run its own course (Just kidding).  You couldn't get a word in edgewise if your life depended on it, because they don't appear to stop for a breath. 

     If you are this type of communicator, why not try a pause at the end of your sentence?  Just calm down and see what happens.  Try not to be so filled with anxiety and/or rage and disgust for others.  From my experience hard-core, red-necked comments about the plethora of others in our society that don't fit your bill tend to do more harm than good. Try to stay off of band wagons, since you get left stranded when the wheels fall off.  Conversations about personal choice including politics, religion and sexual preference to name a few are best left alone.  They are inflammatory to say the least, and usually offensive and hurtful to someone listening to you.  Remember, you don't know the entire story of every person in your audience. This type of talk could be considered rude and mean-spirited and taken the wrong way, even if your intention was not to harm others.  Keep these feelings and ideas to yourself. 

     Don't be afraid to take a short break from talking.  Remember, if the person has listened to you this long, they will let you have another turn in a little while.  Perhaps the other person would like to interject something here other than a grunt or a nod.  The bobbing head is generally a dead giveaway that you are with a "conversation hog".   Just because they're nodding or even making eye contact doesn't mean they agree with what you're saying!  If you could stop long enough to take a couple of breaths, it might give the other person a chance to collect their thoughts and make a reply.  By talking non-stop, you take away the thoughts of the person trying so hard to listen to you.  This is a strategy used by some people to dominate others, so don't let it be you by default.  The intent and effect is to suck the other person's energy dry, and it works. The listener in this case almost always has to become a broken record to try to have their say.  This takes the fun out of it altogether.  Maybe the conversation is not that important to the listener, so it's no big deal.  In fact, if you're on the phone ranting and raving, you might be put on speaker phone so the listener can go about their business while you ramble on...did you ever consider that?  I guarantee though, that if the listener has told you something personal that is important to them, THEY want to talk about it, not the other way around.  When the other person is talking, try forcing yourself to be quiet and respectful and to actively listen.  Active listening means to to listen between the lines to try to understand what the person is REALLY saying.  It's a bit of an art, but you will never develop that skill if all you do is talk.

    Shut off your own self-talk for awhile and just listen to what they are really saying to you.  If you will notice, they might give a short pause at the end to let you reply.  That's how a normal conversation works.  Ask anybody.  Do not be afraid of silence, it gives everyone a breather and a chance to think of what they will say next.  It's not a time when someone has to fill in the void...please, and especially not you!!  I promise, nothing bad will happen!

     Practice S-O-L-E-R......it means, face the person squarely, have an open posture (not crossed legs and arms), lean towards them showing your interest, make eye contact and relax.  My biggest beef with a communication hog is that even if they do give the other person a chance to speak, they will go off on a tangent of non-verbal behavior that shows they absolutely could care less about what the other person has to say.  If they don't interrupt, they will check their watch, they will tap their foot, or drum their fingers.  They will turn away, look away, read something,  check their phone, or overdo it on the grunts and non-verbal responses, or the worst which is to keep saying "no" in order to divert you back to something else they have to say.  These types of disrespectful communication techniques are very obvious to the person trying to get the message across.  Ask any teacher, any chairperson of a meeting, or any minister...they know when their audience is raptly listening and when they're not.  If you can't even recognize non-verbal behavior because you are too busy talking then this is exactly what I am talking about.  Learn to recognize the signs that you have talked too long and that now it is someone else's turn.  If you go to a workshop and you notice you are the only one asking questions or imparting information...It may not be because you are the only one who thinks outsie the box, you just might be talking too much.   Remember, if you get a chance to talk, don't hog the floor.  These are basic rules we should all have learned as children, but just like math and spelling, some did and some didn't.

     Some people don't know how to control their own voice volume. They are turned up on "high" for everything. You might have to resort to out yelling them and then softening your voice by gradually dropping it down to almost a whisper so they will unconsciously mirror you. This is a behavioral strategy used that might work if you can get the chance to use it. It's often done with music, depends on the environment.  It does tend to work on children and some folks suffering from dementia.  

          They say there are differences in communication styles between the genders, but both styles are needed and lead to some very satisfying interactions.  Women want to talk out their frustrations and have someone listen to them. Men think women are telling them the problem so they can fix it.  Women can fix their own problems and men can generally survive without sharing all their problems. If we need each other's  help, we will usually ask for it and neither one of us is a mind reader.  Communications across cultures can also be challenging but can work when we remain respectful. Some make far more eye contact than we do, some find it rude with too much eye contact. Some use alot of touch, some use none. Some cover their face and believe you should address their husband, some want to speak for themselves.  We can do this, we just have to understand where the other person is at and not take anything for granted.   We need to address the immediacy of the situation.  For example, "In my culture, we do this....., so that when you do such and such from your culture, I find it difficult to communicate with you". 
    
       I have met communicators that are warm and loving  that I absolutely want to pour my heart and soul to.  I know men, women and children from my culture and others where I find myself hanging on to their every word.  I want to hear what they have to say, because they are so full of knowledge and wisdom and I desperately want to model myself and my life after facets of them.  They are mentors, who will teach me.  They are the kind of person I aspire to be.  They walk beside me as my friend.  They say wonderful, insightful things or let their actions amaze me.  Their feelings match their body language.   They don't say one thing and do or mean another.  Their actions match their words.  They convey a soft-spoken demeanour and are respectful of me and the life I have lived and am living.  They are non-judgmental, and very genuine.  They know how to laugh and how to make me laugh.  They know how to empathize and forgive.  They do not lie or attempt to be underhanded in any way.  They do not think that they are the only ones who know anything.  We all make mistakes...even those who have ranted and raved about what they don't like about others....including me at times in my life when I thought I was holier than thou.  I empathize with these mentors and the majority of the population who may be in the same boat.  I understand the frustrations everyone feels when poor communication occurs.  It causes a great deal of stress and problems when it doesn't need to.

    If you recognize yourself as being in any of these communication dilemmas, don't despair, there is plenty of time to work on what has probably become a bad habit.  Bad habits can be broken and this too shall pass.  These situations tend to move along on a continuum and eventually disappear.  Just like a kidney stone, they're painful, but they do go away.  Unlike the kidney stone we want to rid ourselves of, communication is here to stay and something we can improve if we really want to.  Most of us will do whatever it takes to make ourselves loving and lovable, we just need the tools to do a better job and lots of love, forgiveness and respect to move forward to a better place.  Remember, communication remains the key, like it or not.

Winter - the love-hate relationship

     This week I am amazed that there are 32 people from Sweden reading my blog...that's clearly even more than a regular month when the highest numbers are from Canada.  I wonder what the Swedes found likable or objectionable  about my posts? Could be that they were mentioned in my Christmas post, or that they know my great grandmother was from their country.  Once again, I have to say that blogging brings joy on so many levels...at least for the blogger!

     Here in Saskatchewan, we have been waiting patiently for the arrival of Spring.  The snowbanks on either side of my driveway are at least two feet higher than I stand.  Trying to hoist the snow on the shovel to the top of them has become almost impossible.  I've had to resort to starting two new piles of the white stuff on the street (which I understand is technically against the law). The garbage truck has a difficult time making it around to our residential neighbourhoods some days, possibly because of the infrequent clearing of the sidestreets by the city.  The driver has no choice but to drive overtop of my one little street pile, but that is a small price to pay.  Main thoroughfares get done often, but sidestreets only if you call in apparently.  The first snow was in early October and it was one of those that caused huge rutts that froze and didn't go away.  All winter long it's been like driving on a cord-wood road.  There have been plenty of overnight snows with polished-up, glistened roadways in the morning.  This is life as we know it in this part of the country for as far back as I can remember.

     Driving in these conditions is like learning the finesse of throwing just the exact draw weight of a curling rock.  You have to calculate the speed of the slide, knowing exactly when it or you and your vehicle will stop.  Good tires, anti-locking brakes and 4x4 certainly help, but there's no stopping on a dime in this part of the country.  I've decided that most drivers, especially at rush hour, are practiced at the glide stop and courteous so that they give you enough room to maneouvre.  There are exceptions to every rule and don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of accidents.  On the whole though, I have found the rush hour drivers to be quite predictable and cautious (at least those who frequent the less-travelled routes like I do).  (Touch wood, because this could change).  I do try to avoid the freeways unless it's a severe storm though.  I know the freeway will have the snow cleared first, so a better bet all around in that event.  However, regardless of side road or express route, there are still vehicles and drivers that don't do well in snow.  Smooth tires are tricky and don't do well with hills or stopping and starting at intersections.  Those who fail to clear their snow-covered vehicle windows are also a hazard on the road.

     I was whining to myself driving home from work one day this winter that I was just about over the daily trudging back and forth from home to downtown.  Then I saw a taxi driver and felt instantly ashamed of myself.  Think of the life of bus drivers, delivery personnel and all those who work from their vehicles.  They have something to complain about, yet, for the most part, stay silent on the subject. The city says it does not have a budget for snow removal.  So if the piles of snow are smack dab in the middle of everything in the residential areas, that's likely where they're going to stay.  Some people resort to hiring their own contractors for snow removal, but few neighbourhood streets get cleared right down to the pavement on a regular basis. We know, live and understand that some winters are much worse than others, and like this one, the money is drained early with alot of robbing Peter to pay Paul.  It's our tax money after all and there are only so many people to pay.  Some winters are mild with very little snow, to allow for a chance to build a nest egg for another bad year down the road.  A bit of a crap shoot I believe, but there's only so much money and so streets are cleared on a priority basis.  Where  boulevards are so high with snow that motorists can't see oncoming vehicles the boulevard itself might be cleared...especially if an accident has occured at that corner.  I can think of two boulevards at the moment, one cleared and one not.  Both had zero visibility for months this winter.  The one cleared was near a high school and there was an accident.  One is still left piled high with snow and is an approach to the road that runs along the riverbank. Not a good combination.

        One morning this week, I found water all over my kitchen countertop beside the sink.  I stood there confounded and felt splashing on my neck and arm.  At the top of the kitchen window were three large droplets forming over and over again.  To say I went outside and investigated is an understatement.  The snow is thigh high.  First I had to get the back gate opened to even get into the back yard.  Then I had to physically plow through the snowbanks to get to the deck and do the same all the way up the steps.  I was able to stand on top of a  chair covered with several feet of snow to chip away part of a thick layer of ice covering the whole eavestrough and extending for about six feet along the length.  I used a tire iron and it worked pretty good.  My elbows are still burning a few days later, so not the best exercise, but what the heck.   Back inside, I rigged up a water catching system using a long narrow planter (with a drain) strung up with blue super-cord and suspended the whole thing from the roman blind hook.  Next, I precariously perched a huge Tupperware container on two ice cream pails and the edge of the faucet and handle in the hopes that the water would drain into it.  Prior to that, I had two butter dishes sitting on the window sill that were filling up entirely too quickly. (I'm nothing if not ingenious LOL).  After all, it was a work day and I was on my way out the door.  When I came home in the evening, the centre of gravity for the planter had shifted so it had one end down and the other up.  The water had pooled at the low end, but wasn't enough to be anywhere near the drain hole.  Even so, the dripping had stopped and has not returned several days later.  Even with the warm day yesterday, there is no more dripping.  Yippee!  My son-in-law came and took a look and we both agree there's not much else to be done for it except to wait for the Spring thaw.  A co-worker told me there is some type of warming apparatus you can buy to put on your roof.  I guess it looks like a really thick extension cord.  Both my son-in-law and I are in the mood for holding off on this idea, at least for the time being.

     Apparently, this type of ice damming has caused grief in many places to the point I have seen Facebook ads at $150/hour for an 'expert' to come fix the problem.  Oh brother...On the one hand the ambulance personnel are advertising daily on TV for people to please stay off their roof.   Time after time, you see or hear of people up shovelling, some get away with it, but some don't.  They say a fall from over six feet can be fatal.  The people with a flat roof are also complaining of drips. They tar around every spot  and pipe they can think of it, and still the roof leaks (flat being somewhat safer to walk around on than the peaked type, I would think).  In the next breath, we hear of a roof that collapses under the weight of the snow.  Red River Roping and Riding Arena in Prince Albert had this happen within the last couple of weeks. 

     So what a relief when yesterday, the streets were wet and the low spots full of water. I went to Giant Tiger and bought a few things.  The sun was glorious and I was too hot in my winter coat.  I even pushed the shopping cart clear across the parking lot to return it to the collection site (over the rutts and slush).  I was astounded to see several feet of snow inside where the carts should sit because I guess NOBODY does that there...

     On the way home,  I was almost hypnotized into going for a car wash, but snapped out of it when I realized the futility.   Even with Spring Fever just right around the corner, not only me, but many others are talking about their uneasiness that the melt will happen fast and the result will be flooding. Regardless, I'm enjoying the warmer weather and pretty soon that sun roof will open.  I will be happy to drive in the evening after the streets were wet all day because I will know the sun has dried the pavement, leaving no slippage.   Then again, there's black ice.     

     Awwh..... winter....we have a love/hate relationship with you.  :-)