Count Down

Count Down

The count down is on....I'm 59 and closing in on 60 fast....Only a few more days .... and it'll be the big oh oh..... no...six oh.  But honestly, it sounds worse than it actually is.  At some point in my life, I realized these awkward, hard-aged milestones really do get easier....I'm not kidding.  You know, people will say they had a gruesome time turning 30 and didn't know what to do with themselves, or which way to turn. They fell into a funk and stayed there for a little too long.  Others say it was 40, or 50...Well, as of Monday, I will have now marked the sixth decade and looking back, it could definitely have been worse.  I have to say turning 60 seems alot more low key and uneventful, than I would have thought it would be when I was 20.  In fact, at 20, I would have shuddered at the thought.  Even emotionally, I haven't spent days on end navel gazing or feeling sorry for myself.  Some of you might be thinking, "just shut up already" and they are right because everybody is different and all I know is how I'm coping, and not how you're doing.

I think my family have been more on edge about it than me....basically because in our family, it's always a major event when someone approaches, reaches and gets past 59.  You see, some of us have gotten stuck on 59 and never left.  Others have stalled dramatically and only moved forward with a really good kick-start like open-heart surgery or something like that.  So far, I'm grateful to say, I'm still like the Easter Bunny with fully-charged batteries. Single, but still going strong.

There's just far more to life than worrying about your age.  After all, I have discovered since I've turned at least 40 the truth that people really do become more of what they are as they age.  If they were beautiful all their life, they will be even MORE beautiful as they age.  I see it all around me.  If you looked great with a tan as a teen-ager, imagine what you will look like with a tan and snow-white hair? Fabulous.  I wouldn't know personally because I don't have much grey hair, but my Mom does.  If you were a total jerk with a filthy temper and really ugly when you got mad....that just doesn't go away.  You may change your personality entirely though....Someone like King Henry VIII was said to have been extremely handsome and kind before his (head) injury, I believe it was jousting.  After that he became cruel and morbidly obese and nothing like he was in his youth...

And aging people might live to learn a very valuable lesson....They might learn to compare themselves to the other folks born in their own decade and not to those who are old enough to be their children or grandchildren. Why compare apples to oranges?  Do you know how ridiculous it is to feel bad because you have deeper crow's feet or laugh lines than someone much younger than you?    Look around at the people your own age...because they are your only true comparables....As a friend of mine used to say, "don't you know that wrinkles are in?"

I have listened to an excellent speaker over these last couple of days and learned about my greatest strengths and what that means.   The speaker's name is Idahlynn Karre and the work is from Gallup, Inc.  Our group had to complete a questionnaire from www.strengthsquest.com first to have our five  Clifton StrengthsFinder Themes compiled.  Out of all these types of tests taken in the past, this one was probably one of the most accurate for me.  I have taken others such as the Myers-Briggs Test (a couple of times).  It figures out what type of personality you have.   This is mainly like whether you're an introvert or an extrovert.  I know that when I was younger, I was more extroverted and have become more introverted with the passage of time. Go ahead and type it into your internet search and take the test if you've never done so.  Another test was a colors test also to do with personality style, I think it was called True Colors.  Again, it comes up when you type it into your search bar.  My main colors were yellow, with blue and green tied for second place.  I am an oddity in that I usually don't fall into the typical results categories.  I tend to be combinations of more than one.  For instance, although yellow shows up as my main color (shows my organizational and administrative thinking and skills),  blue is for relationships and green for analytical thinking.  Many of my colleagues were fully one colour without all these other tendencies, but I'm not sure why.

This week's latest strengths-based test showed me as someone who is responsible and does what they say they will do.  OK, generally that's true.  Secondly, I am an achiever and push hard for results. Ask any of my neighbors who watched me scrape my garage door and 'finally' get it painted a couple years ago. Funnily enough, an achiever gets a dopamine rush when they complete a task, so that would also explain my penchant for crocheting item after item after item!  A theme in my last three categories was taking the complex and simplifying it for others...giving main points and streamlining explanations.  Partly because I have a hard time understanding things myself, I need to figure out a way to get it through my thick skull and try to find a way to remember it down the road.  What's easier than if something reminds you of something you're already familiar with?  The other part of that is because I'm basically lazy.  I don't like to do something and then turn around and do it again and again if I don't have to. I want to find a way to bring simple meaning to something difficult to understand.  Back in the day, my students seemed to appreciate the pictures I would paint for them (in their minds), the stories I would tell, and the linkages I would help them to make across some of their more difficult theories.  I guess as it turns out, that's a  valuable tool for any teacher to have, because there are bound to be students who struggle to understand concepts just like you.   I also trust that others know what they're doing and am confident that the best work gets done by the best person.  Consequently, the final three categories for me were self-assured, arranger, and learner.   Arranger definitely goes with "yellow" and I never have less than three or four books on the go, crafts, hobbies, or writings set up around my house in "stations" at any given moment.  Consequently, since much of this is exactly me, they have hit the nail on the proverbial head.  These attributes come in handy not only as a program head, but as a realtor.  Again, I am someone who juggles a variety of things all the time.  (At least, I didn't get Input, which is basically someone who collects ideas, people, and things....a hoarder, if you will....just joking because some of my best friends and relatives are serious collectors with quonsets, garages, and barns filled to the brim!).

Some of the other categories of the 35 possible ones were those who see everything as pieces of a puzzle - connectors.  Others who seek consensus are harmonizors.  Fairness and equality shows a person with consistency.  Typically, an activator takes action.  Someone who is restorative fixes and a relator is always looking into deeper relationships.  Someone who sees other people's strengths has a theme of individualization.  Someone who has strong values has belief while spotting potential could make you a developer.  A communicator is a good story teller, and someone with empathy is able to sense the feelings of others.  No question that someone who is futuristic sees things in a future context.    My list doesn't cover all possible themes, but might give you an idea of why you do some of the things you do.  If you're interested, it might be an area you try to find more information about.

The other thing the speaker talked about was that 45 days after conception, these strengths are formed in all of us before we ever leave the womb.  The size of the learning and strength area in the brain at that time is the size of a super highway...This moves rapidly over time to the size of a regular highway and down to a country road at a very young age.  Amazing what they have uncovered about all of this.

The final talk on the second day was about "The Hero's Journey".  She showed us the 12 steps that occur in every movie you have ever seen.  It was amazing as she broke down three of the movies we all knew - the Wizard of Oz, Star Wars, and Harry Potter.   The concept shows how the hero moves from their ordinary world to crossing the threshold of a new world and all the angst and support they need to get there.  How the hero meets with an ordeal that makese them seize the storm and move on to reap the reward.  They hit the wall, but eventually get back on track, resurrect themselves, and return back to their ordinary life as a master of two worlds and always with the elixir....  "There's no place like home" was Dorothy's elixir...what she learned.  The Hero's Journey is a comparison for us as educators because it is almost exactly the same journey faced by our students... So true and so very poignant!!

So here I am, turning 60....learning and thinking about my strengths....not focusing on my weaknesses you might note!  That was the other part of the speaker's research....Don't focus on you or your child's or other's weaknesses, but build on the strengths instead!  OK, I am all about that.  Performance can only benefit from focusing on strengths.  You may never be any good at math, so do a job that you're good at...

As a result of all this new information, I'm motivated more than ever to work on another whole new project. Now I know a new little secret about how to approach the book I have always had on the back burner.  I have so much to do and no time for worrying about my age...did I mention that?

Saskatoon Exhibition Kick-Off Parade

Saskatoon Exhibition Parade

Thought I'd share the parade experience in our city on Tuesday.  I haven't seen it in a long while and went with my daughter and kids.  Unfortunately, the family pictures didn't turn out, except for the ones of my son's children and their Mom who were part of the parade!  We were so proud of them and they did well, walking the whole way.

These photos are taken with an iPhone, so please forgive me.....The man sitting next to me has a lovely set of knees and you will see alot of them (and his wife's).... :-)

Back end of the Police Rescue vehicle that lead the way...

First band in the line up...and the top of my grandson's head with the spider-man cap on it!

Busy camera man...

Ye olde firetruck...

Nice cars...

Very cool bike from way back when?

Lotsa horses...

Whitecap Dakota First Nation...

Horses and Buggy....

Could it be a member of parliament?  I think Don Morgan and his lovely wife.

See the big blast of fire Also very loud music that caused my baby grandson to cry his little head off! and nobody other than me, standing over top of him, could even hear!

See the building at the back?  Believe it or not, there was a man dangling from a rope apparatus washing windows...I wish I would have thought to get him in the picture....That fire breathing dragon was SUPER HOT and there's no doubt the window washer would have felt it.

My daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and grandson...still walking (we were on 3rd Ave. between 21st and 22nd Street and the parade started on Spadina Crescent and 24th Street.  A few blocks, but pretty long for little legs!

Royal Canadian Legion...

Pipe and Drum Band...I used to play drums in the Melfort Pipe and Drum Band!!  :-)

Lots of RCMP cars, but generally they were too fast for me to take a picture of .... remember, I was also holding the baby by now...   :-)......All the three little boys were absolutely mesmerized by the parade and behaved grandly!

This was a beautiful horse and rider....with clown alongside...

Fancy Arabian, (I think)...

Horses and carts...

Clydesdales..

Shriners Orchestra...you can see the back of the bell lyra ... I used to play one of those in our Hudson Bay High School Band :-)

Walking to the music of "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

And the back of my other grandson's head and his Mario hat :-)

City Mayor and Chief ...

There were plenty more things in the parade such as firefighters, ambulance, Elks, John Deere tractor at the very end etc, far too numerous to capture...Overall, it was a great parade once again!  Congratulations to the organizers for all the hard work put into the event.  We certainly enjoyed it!

Recurring Dreams

Hi all!

It's Saturday.  It's raining...and I feel like blogging...

Do any of you have recurring dreams?  I had another last night, the fourth that has run along a similiar vein in recent memory.  I used to live on a farm south of Hudson Bay, Saskatchewan in the community of Etomami. From the time I was 8 years old until I left home at 18, I lived there.  We started out living in the existing, old house, but built a brand new bungalow.

My recurring dream is always at that new house.  I am always there, usually inside that new house.  I either own it, am remodeling it, or am looking out the windows seeing so many different things.  Often, I realize, it has to do with the long evergreen tree-lined lane.  I'm watching out the picture window at some sort of stranger arriving...or driving right up.

The house is most often a refuge or safe haven from my all time fear - bears.  In the past I have dreamed all sorts of scenarios that involve bears, my children, parents, grandparents, brothers, sister, other relatives, friends and neighbours.  Alot of people I've known in my life have been around in some capacity in one or more of my dreams.

Generally I own the house (which I don't).  The farm was sold way back in the 1970's and the people still live there and have made all sorts of changes to the place.  It doesn't matter, there I am and they're not.

I thought I had reached a turning point about four dreams ago.  The reason was that my mom, brother, and daughter had arrived to stay in the dream, only to find the real owners there and not happy.  This was the very first dream that anyone was home.  They told us in no uncertain terms that we were to leave and find somewhere else to go.  We were talking about all the places we could go instead of there, but none of them worked.  Our recent age-old friend's home was a suggestion, but we all knew she wouldn't be there because she has passed away.  We even thought of going to a hotel in Hudson Bay.   I really thought when I awoke, that this might be one way my subconscious was letting go of the place....I was so excited about it, I even phoned a few people and said I thought this might change events.

I was obviously wrong.   Another dream had me in the kitchen and dining room with my mom and my granny (passed away in 1971).  Granny was mad about something....Dad was there too (standing along the sidelines), also passed away in 1992.  He was smiling and so was mom.

Recently, I watched a horror show (I never do this)....it had Liam Neeson in it, so I thought it would be good.  It was a little too true-to-life for my liking, but once I got watching, I was hooked you see and it was just before bed time.  It involved timber wolves....the mere mention of which makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and goose bumps appear all over.  The old people in my life forever, such as the aunts and uncles and neighbours and grandparents always had a healthy fear and regard for timber wolves.  Every time the talk turned to these animals, they seemed to be growing bigger and healthier and their numbers increasing steadily.  They were to be shot on sight if they ever even came close to civilization.  I have known about them all my life, but because I only heard the lore about them, they always took a back seat to the bear...the grizzly being the worst....but grizzlies are not known to travel this far south.

So, back to my next dream.  There I was walking and carrying my baby daughter (who is now over 30), outside the house, on the road at the end of our long tree-lined lane...I had a brown paper bag full of groceries that dropped on the ground and had raw pork chops fall out.  I could see about four timber wolves racing towards us and I ran for all I was worth...(I can imagine what my arms and legs were doing in bed under the blankets at that moment).  They went for the pork chops I guess, because we got into the house safely.  Next, it was dark outside and as I looked out the picture window there were six of them staring in at me, growling.  Six sets of eyes were almost all that showed (just like the movie).  I was worried sick because I knew my mom was coming home from her Eastern Star meeting at midnight and would be caught unaware.  I knew I had to make sure the door to the porch was unlocked so she could get in quickly.  When I opened the house door, I saw that the porch door was uncloseable, standing ajar about a foot...the little lean-to porch had heaved with the weather and the thing wouldn't close.  I also realized the house door wasn't really a door but was just a black, heavy sleeping bag.  I frantically struggled to hang the sleeping bag corners on the two long nails at the top of the door and the agitation of it all I guess woke me up.

Last night, I dreamed that I awoke in my wonderful, fresh, cozy and clean bed.  Wherever I was, the air was cold and crisp on the west side of the house as the morning sun lit the sky rising in the east.  I suspected I was back in my new house on the farm at Hudson Bay, but wondered.  I got up to look out the bedroom window, and yes, it was the right place.  To my astonishment, there was a huge male lion standing on top of some straw bales behind the house.  He had a sleeping bag folded in a big square, strapped to his back.  I looked around and there were other straw bales and two lion cubs and their mother.  His family I could only guess.  Then I saw a little grouping of about six black and white cats.  I could scarcely believe my eyes.  

Next the doorbell rang and I looked out the window to see two young children, a boy and a girl of about seven...standing at the door to the porch.  They carried a box and asked if I had any groceries to spare.  They seemed to be starving and looked terribly sad.  I quickly pulled them into the house and no sooner did that than a friend of mine from P.A. showed up in her khaki safari outfit  (she travels to Africa on occasion)...She seemed to know the lions and said they were nothing to fear.  Another guy had backed his truck up to the door and said he had furniture to deliver for the new owner of this house.....whose name was Jerry Moore.....I have never heard of such a person, but the delivery man had a measuring tape and I was to help him move some of the furniture in.  It was only a half-ton truck, so not like a big moving van. The first item was a light weight set of blue and red bunk beds with no mattress, only these straw-colored rope-like things that looked like clothes line wire with plastic covering!    Then I woke up!

On examining these dreams, I think because I read that my animal is the lion, I wonder if perhaps they have taken over the yard to protect me from the timber wolves.  I guess I was staying at the house between owners??

These dreams are nothing if not interesting to me, yet getting more frequent and rather bizarre.  It would be wonderful to talk to someone who might know how to decipher them!

Spinning your wheels

Spinning your wheels

Waiting...waiting....waiting....what do you do now that your relationship has ended?  The word is out, or so you think that you are now alone.  After all, this isn't small town  or high school anymore.  This is being middle aged, living life in a city where you didn't grow up, in a big cruel world. By now, your entire world is full of couples and families living their daily lives, possibly sympathetic, but largely oblivious to the unique needs of you, the single person.  I believe there is a more sympathetic view toward the new widow or widower, but even so, many of the circumstances can be shared by those divorced, or those never married. The married person I understand, believes those not married to be living a grand social life....Would that be true in your case?  Surely, not mine.

In some cases, friends may invite you to attend functions with them like dinners or dances, as the third party. I don't know about you, but once may be enough to try that.  There's nothing like being the third wheel. Uncomfortable to say the least....especially when the friend insists you take a turn on the dance floor with their spouse and you are left feeling awful because you have to decline.  Why?  You can't get past the feelings..and what are these feelings you ask?  The kind where you don't want to horn in on any type of relationship of any possible friend.  You don't want to ever come between your friends and their partners.  You know that, but do they?  You will never know for sure, but do they actually cast sidelong glances your way thinking it would be best to ease away from a potential problem?  Could happen and does., in fact I think it's normal behavior and very common.  The other feeling is when those at the function know you and your history and understand that your friend is sharing their mate with you so you don't feel left out...all out of the goodness of their heart.  Nice of them, but totally says something sad about you.  The bottom line:  You shouldn't have tried to go to something like that so soon...like a Christmas party.

Back to the drawing board, you join a support group for those finding themselves suddenly single...The opposite sex are few and far between at the first meeting, and although disappointed, you still hope and pray the few there don't glom onto you in any way, shape or form.  It's too soon you tell yourself.  They must have issues or they wouldn't be there.  Just like you and you have enough of your own, so you can't possibly take on somebody else's.  One's too tall and one has funny eyes...You wish you could hide under the chair or escape out the window, but you hang in for the entire first session because you are too embarrassed to leave.  You start to sweat and turn beet red...You might miss the second session for this very reason.  By the third, you realize you are still looking for answers and really there is no one else to turn to.  In fact, the leader is delivering such great information, it would be a shame to miss out on any of it, so you go again.  By the time you get over 'yourself' and calm down, you come to the realization these people have about as much interest in climbing your frame as nothing.  All they want is a new friend, and if you're smart, you eventually get to that point too.  As a result of these support groups, maybe some participants will connect with each other in a romantic way, but if they do, they are in a far different place than you.  At the very least, you will make contacts and friendships that will likely always be there.  Six weeks comes and goes pretty quick and your weekly sessions end. We all agreed we were glad we went and felt better equipped to face the world.

Next is the inevitable hook up by a mutual friend or relative.  You possibly talk on the phone to the new person and then agree to meet somewhere for coffee.  You have your family on high alert and possibly driving around the block in case there's something amiss.  If you could put the police on speed dial you would.  You agonize about everything they might show up with, but especially the most intimate things...teeth condition, smell, cleanliness etc. And you go finally and meet them...Although it may not be love at first sight, you sit through the session anyhow...for the sake of the friend who set you up....and for yourself.  You decide upon leaving that this person is definitely not for you.  They talk too much, or have a funny look about them.  Yet, within the next day or so, they now show up at your house, unannounced....Although caught off guard, you invite them in  for a cup of tea. Once again, possibly not knowing how to shut them out, or even not knowing a polite way to tell them to take a hike.  Underneath, you secretly hope and pray it will work out so you no longer have to be alone. (What happened to being happy in your own company?) They continue to show up at random times and phone and start monopolizing your life.  You start getting used to them and they to you.  Occasionally, they make you laugh.  You meet their family and they meet yours, and on it goes.  You remind yourself that middle aged relationships are probably different than those in your earlier years.  You're likely never going to find your perfect ideal  mate...If you think you're going to wait around for perfection, you will be waiting forever.  So the relationship moves forward and you look forward to time when you can be together with that other person. So that's how it goes for possibly a very long time and then quicker than it started...the relationship is over.  One decides to move on, but both know without saying that the break was inevitable.

Time alone is healing, but you really do need to learn how to be happy with your own company.  Really, we can all be happy spending time by ourselves, even though nobody would argue that you live longer with a mate.  Couples seem to have so much more fun...just like blondes, that may be a myth.  Fun, love and caring for another person or whatever (dog, cat, fish)  does make the world go round.  Unless of course you are co-dependent, then you seem to have to live for someone else and can't be alone.  Let's say you're not, I don't think I am.  If you are freshly out of a relationship for whatever reason, be sure to give yourself time to grieve the loss.  If you dive right into something new, it could be a mistake.  I'm just saying give yourself a chance to spruce up in every way possible before making a move, especially in the self confidence department.  Personally, I would like to join up with others in places like at an old time dance club, card playing, neighborhood crafting..things I promise to do once I'm not so busy working full time...a cop out of course.

Online dating is what's left if you don't belong to community groups, clubs, or the bar scene.  Online dating can be quite disheartening.  Just when you find somebody you think might be good, they want nothing to do with you.  Basically though, I feel like there's something wrong with going through pictures and discarding possibly perfectly good people on the basis of how they look. We all know people with golden personalities and wonderful senses of humor that we love to be around.  Maybe they aren't great to look at, but we don't even notice it because they make us feel good.  That is the piece missing with these profiles and pictures.   Now for sure, there are people on there who look like they fell asleep in the gutter and had someone drag them out and take their picture to post...I'm not kidding.  There are people who refuse to post a picture and expect you to pay attention to them.  Are they kidding?  I started talking to someone like that, who did agree to post a picture.  Unfortunately, I discovered mid way through our initial discussions that he was newly out of prison, living in a basement suite in a neighboring village, looking for work...  Then there are the pictures of people who look like models...beware...these can truly be scammers and they will say whatever you ever wanted to hear all your life.  You are beautiful, they love you, they can't live without you.  They think only of you and on and on.  Run, don't walk.

I have met with a few members of the opposite sex through online dating....Most have not appealed to me. One had a mouth as foul as the sewers of Paris....and was nothing to look at.  Another was so dirty, I don't know how he got cleaned up long enough to have his picture posted. I tried dating someone from another culture for a time, but although he was a fine person, the cultural and age differences became far too pronounced.

You hear of old friends and acquaintances who also suddenly find themselves single.  You wonder if you should reach out.  You hesitate for fear it is too soon or that they think you are being pushy.  You want to be supportive, but you hang back.   If you're anything like me, you recognize other worldly signs and mine seem to come forward in dreams.  I have had on occasion a newly single male come to me in a dream.  In the morning, I have to think about the possibilities.  The dreams always surprise me...and there have been a few.  I would like to contact the person then, but doubt they are even aware of the concept not to mention open  to it...too weird.

I am not alone...there are many other singles both male and female, silently going about their business. If they find someone, I am very happy for them and wish them all the best.  I hope things work out.  If nothing else, you get to widen your circle of friends and maybe keep looking.  Life goes on, and one day maybe you will realize it doesn't really matter.  You may never meet your soul mate or the "one" or even the person who moved in and out of your life for a time.  This might just be it....you and your world...So enjoy your families, your grandchildren, your friends and co-workers.  Take pride in what you do and what you are contributing to the world just by being in it.  Love the outdoors and the changing of the seasons.  Find beauty, laughter and love in yourself and everything around you.

By the time you're elderly, many will be without partners, but a strange thing could happen...suddenly social lives could zoom into high gear.  The once middle-aged person is now eligible to join a local seniors group or move into a seniors housing complex and their lives come alive again.

Hang in there.

Extended Family

Extended Family

I received an email from my first cousin's daughter as did some others.  I don't know what degree of relationship she and I have...second cousin or what, but here is what she asked:

"Hello ladies! I am writing a somewhat autiobiography of my family, and I was wondering if any of you ladies have any stories that you could share about my grandma Dot. I have lots of stories about my grandpa but not many of my grandma. I'd love to hear any stories that you may have that I could add to my paper! If you do you can message them to me on here or email them.... anything that you have would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!! :)"

I thought for awhile, but it didn't take too long to write back.  After all, it's how a person made you feel that impacted your life and I guess that's made up in the details of the interactions you had with them.

"Hi Erin,
Aunt Dot...she was great! She had this great laugh and was always making some wisecrack joke or comment. She was a smoker...but so were most people in those days. She was an LPN or CNA, not sure which, but she worked at Melfort Union Hospital for years. She told me she stayed at the Nurses' Residence when she couldn't get back to the farm at Meskanaw in bad weather. That place is torn down now I believe. By the time I had to enter the Melfort Hospital to give birth to my first baby, a son, there she was. She clucked over me like a mother hen. She and dad and my mom had figured this all out ahead of time, because I was blissfully ignorant about what was to come. She stayed with me my whole seven hours of labor and rubbed my back with every contraction. They asked me if she could come into the case room for the actual delivery and I said yes please!! (That was October 4, 1976 and a real winter storm was happening outside. The next day (since we owned the flower shop) my ex-husband, took her a dozen red roses and she was thrilled. By the time my daughter was born, Aunt Dot had retired and I sure missed her. Another story about your grandma Dot was when my mom and dad had the funeral home. I can't remember who had died, but it was somebody we all knew. He was in the show room in his casket. She asked if she could go downstairs by herself and pay her respects. She came back up after awhile...really, really flustered. She said while she was standing beside the casket, head bowed, suddenly she felt this sensation of feathers ruffling across her face. She believed totally in ghosts and was convinced that whatever happened was because of the person in the casket. I still remember her talking about that. She was also superstitious as anything. Still during the days of the flower shop, she absolutely trained us not to take red and white floral arrangements to the hospital, or else we were asking for three deaths. Another thing, talk about independent women! I believe she, Aunt Grace and Aunt Laura were WACs in WWII. I think they worked in some factory out East for awhile during the war. Also, she learned to drive a car when very few women did. She drove right up to the end of her life, when she and Uncle Mac had gone on a trip the day she died and she was the driver, even though she didn't feel good. She raised four kids and worked full-time, so that's a huge accomplishment doesn't matter which era we're talking about. She was a diabetic and took those early insulins and pills that were not nearly as good as they are now. She developed a bit of a shake at times in later years because of these meds. She looked after her diabetes as rigorously as she could because as she would say, she had to if she wanted to keep living. She was a role model for me, that's for sure. She was someone who didn't beat around the bush. She would call a spade a spade, but didn't try to hurt people's feelings. She was a good person, no doubt. She was always very hospitable if you dropped by for a visit and was always glad to see us and me. At one point, she had some kind of  hemorrhage that affected her vision, and that slowed her down, but she didn't spend her time feeling sorry for herself. She was always a going concern. She loved and fussed and worried about all her own children and grandchildren. She used to drop by the funeral home for coffee and to visit with mom and dad and of course all us kids. She would talk about how their life was when they were kids on the farm. She would tease dad by telling tales about him....like that he did mean things to his sisters. Of course, we thought the sun rose and set on dad, so we would look at him and he would never admit to anything. Everyone always loved Aunt Dot because she was just so easy to get along with. We miss her!"

Her response:

"Thank you so much Jean!! So many details that I can add! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! :) It's great to hear so many things about her that I never knew about! :)"
 \
And me again,

"You are most welcome, it was my pleasure! Good luck, not only with the paper, but on getting to know who your grandma was! Thanks for asking."

.......................................

Aunt Dot was actually a twin to Aunt Grace.  The two of them looked totally different from my perspective and if you didn't know, you might not ever have guessed.  Aunt Grace married, lived in Meskanaw and gave birth to eight children.  I remember visiting them when I was a kid and having their family visit ours.  On one visit, it had been raining, so we all had to wear rubber boots.  We played out in their yard which seemed to have old gnarly trees and great forts.  I remember another time when she had a new baby, I think it was Olive.  I, for some reason was standing over top of the crib at the head end so the baby had to look back over her head at me as she lay on her back.  Aunt Grace told me to move to the side because that was not good for the baby to strain to look back like that.  I have always remembered her advice.  I only saw Aunt Grace sporadically after they moved to Salmon Arm, B.C.  One time was a wedding in Alberta and for some reason I was riding in a car with her and Uncle Stan.  She had her arm around me the whole way and was smiling and talking to me like I was the most precious thing on earth.  She was just like that, so full of love and kindness for people.

These twin girls had two other sisters, Aunt Nell and Aunt Laura.  I saw both of them quite a bit, since they both lived in Melfort, albeit Aunt Nell for a shorter time.  She too moved to B.C. where her two sons lived.  Aunt Laura spent many hours visiting and caring for her Mom, my Grandma, who lived in the local nursing home.

Brothers of the twins were Uncle Neil, Uncle Ed, Uncle Bob, and my dad, Glen.  As you can imagine, these families also had a great impact on my life.  I have many cousins and other stories to tell about all these people, but that is for another time.  :-)

Melting Pot

Melting Pot...

All of a sudden, the readership of my little blog has jumped to over the 10,000 mark!   How amazing!  This week it's South American countries I see listed in my "audience".  Last week was the Ukraine. Why these fits and spurts happen is beyond me, but that's okay, they make me happy.  (Especially if they actually read them and not just skip onto the next one!)  This month on my blogger statistics page it shows Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Paraguay, Portugal and Columbia.  (Isn't this a wonderful tool?)  Can't say I've ever know anyone in those places...today or in the past.   This week is Sao Paulo, Sonora, Rio de Janeiro, New York and Moscow...all places that show up on the Live Feed at the bottom of  my blog.  The Live Feed lists who's been there looking (only their country) and I guess it's what they call 'in real time'.  Alot of these places are HOT countries and I think I might understand how it happens that they get to reading a northerner's blog. I guess it's a chance for them to experience cold winters and places with seasons vicariously through someone like me...a blogger who tells a story.  If you're from somewhere hot and you blog too, then maybe I can share your balmy temperatures  when it's minus forty for days on end here.  If you can live life through the eyes of someone else, I guess that's the next best thing.

Tonight, I ventured outside after supper.  It's only -20, but there's a wind, so probably closer to -30 with the wind chill.  I put on big boots, ski pants, toque, infinity scarf, really thick gloves, and a long jacket.  Sound like a pain?  Well, it is, and probably one of the reasons I hardly do it this time of year.  I had to shovel my sidewalk and  driveway earlier today, so got a taste for 'dressing up' so to speak.  The real treat is the fresh air...it gets in your blood and then you want more.  Just because of all these awesome places showing up in my blog, I decided to talk about some of the cultures I've been exposed to in my life.  People are people and I've known and  grown up with a whole variety being a Canadian. It's always good to reminisce about the fun times, and the differences and similarities between their families and mine. Living in Saskatchewan, there really were a large number of different cultures such as Ukrainians and Poles from Poland, Swedish and Norwegian, Scottish, Irish, English, East Indian, Pakistani, French, to start with.   Make no mistake, two nationalities might seem almost the same, but they are not and are quick to point it out.  All of these were mingling with the people already here, the Cree, Dene and others. In past decades, we have been joined by many from countries not seen here much before.  I have friends who are Iranian, Chilean, Guatamalan, East Indian and know Canadians living in Thailand and other countries.  Many live in warmer climates, like Mexico, even if only for half the year.

By the time my generation came along ( being born in the mid 1950's), many immigrant  families had lived here in Canada for several hundred years.   At least two generations of all of us "immigrants" had come before, or so it seemed.  People nowadays are much more open about telling their true-to-life stories publicly than ever before.  Little did we know, but many fled their homeland because of tyranny, political strife, famine and/or poverty.

From what I can tell, most immigrants are nothing if not preservers of their traditions and culture.  In fact, the towns and surrounding communities get immersed in each other's ways, so not only their way, but ours, and their food, and ours.....and especially, did I say their food?  So much so, many once unknown dishes to one culture have become staples to the others.  I'm talking about dishes like perogies, borscht, and cabbage rolls for instance,  borrowed from the Ukrainians.  I can't speak for other provinces, but I expect the situation is similiar elsewhere in Canada. 

About forty years ago, I knew a Ukrainian baba (grandmas)  who would sell her homemade perogies for ridiculously cheap prices....like $2.00 for ten dozen.  They were the good ones, the little ones...not those big fat ones with thick dough that some machine cranked out.  This was dough rolled out to a sliver on a countertop by a lady, as strong as an ox.  She had lovingly formed, filled and frozen the tasty potato and cheese morsels side by side on a tea towel covered cookie sheet then placed in the freezer.  Once frozen, they were put into a clear plastic bag that was tied with a twist tie.  All you had to do was pick them up and pay, then take them home to enjoy.  So easy to prepare, simply drop into a boiling pot of water and wait for them to rise to the top.  Drain, cover with melted butter and onions and add a dollop of sour cream.  Presto!  You had a feast fit for a king! Those same perogies today still aren't very expensive and are not too hard to get your hands on for special events like family gatherings, Easter, or Christmas.  

Nowadays, it doesn't much matter where you go you will find someone who has some sort of different heritage than your own around here.  Kokums (Cree grandmas) know how to make your mouth water with their bannock.  These are similar to a biscuit and really tasty.  I have had bannock several times, and once again, it is delicious and a relatively low cost cultural food.

In my family and many, many others, we made teeny, little dill pickles from the cucumbers in our gardens. We always had dozens of sealers full to add to any meal for most of the winter.  It's only been the last few years that you could actually purchase them in a store.  Beet pickles were another favorite that I noticed have shown up on store shelves within the last decade or so.

There are regularly planned galas to celebrate culture in many cities.  In Saskatoon, every August there is a huge event held in multiple locations around the city to showcase the different cultures living here. They have feasts at each pavilion, dancing, singing, bands playing music, and of course food and drinking (and not just coffee and water :-).  The events include displays of  handiwork, arts, and crafts and every manner of dress that can show off a culture. Every time I go, I try to visit the pavilions of my own heritage - Norwegian, Scottish, and Irish.  Plus, I like to attend others such as the Philippino, German, American, East Indian, Greek, and Jamaican....to name a few.  The idea is to purchase a passport booklet and get it stamped at every place you stop to visit.  There is always fun, cultural items to purchase and people absolutely flock to this annual event. It includes most everyone in the entire city and rural areas and many volunteers work extra hard to make it such a huge success.  I went to the home page and found that 2014 will be their 35th year in Saskatoon.  Check them out at www.saskatoonfolkfest.com.

I learned quite alot making my way around to the different pavilions over the years.  The first year I ever went was with my Mom and Dad and we went to the Norwegian pavilion.  It was in the Marion Graham high school and there were signs all over with the word "OOFTA".  (Forgive me if I've told you this story before!)  Now my grandpa is Norwegian and he would always say HOOFTA as an expression.  As little kids, we took to using it too....just out of habit and being copy cats, of course.  You know, monkey see, monkey do.  I still find myself saying it!  Little did I know that it really was an expression used widely by Norwegians.  At that pavilion, we ate blotkake (a type of cake) and crumkake (a type of pastry)....both so melt-in-your-mouth as to die for.  We had always had tastes of lefse (a type of soft-dough flat bread) growing up, but never cut up into these teeny little rolls buttered with brown sugar and cinnamon....(Actually, at home, we had generally eaten half the lathered bread at one sitting!)

I'll give you some of the highlights, but as you can imagine, there is always plenty more going on than this little blurb can tell..  At the Irish pavilion there was much drinking, dancing, singing and merriment.  No fights...  At the Scottish, a pipe and drum band was performing and they were serving hummus.  At the Ukrainian, there was scrumptious food that without a word of a lie, 300 people were lined up to get.  Traditional Ukrainian dancers lined the stage.  At the German pavilion, there was sausage and music, at the Greek we got skewers of souvlaki, and they were oh so tasty!. The Philippinos had the most beautiful handiwork for sale, and I remember buying this massive lacy, crocheted pineapple-patterned table cloth... for next to nothing.  I think I was over the top by the time I ate at the Jamaican pavilion because I started to get an upset stomach.  Maybe I'm just not used to so much variety, let alone have a spicy palate.  The American pavilion had popcorn and a Blues singer strumming away.  Other years I have attended  a variety, but overall, they are all a genuine feast for the senses.  You go there with great expectations, run into all kinds of people you know or not, and leave with a full tummy and toes just a'tapping.

Democracy with freedom of speech and religion is a wonderful right that we hold dear in this part of the world.  Many of us have days when we tend take these freedoms for granted, but for many others their new reality is far too precious to ever forget.

The Parkade

The Parkade

I've been catchingl the odd ad on TV for a show that lets you hear the wail of a sasquatch.  So much so that I recognized that sound twice now when exiting my vehicle on a high floor of the parkade at my downtown office.  It's either a sasquatch awakening to the cold morning temperatures, or some sort of road construction equipment making a similiar sound way off in the distance.  Whatever,  the noise is mournful and makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck right in the heart of the city!

That parkade is quite the place.  The ceilings are low and there's really only room on the ramps between the many floors for one car at a time.  Because one ramp services two floors,  I travel up 13 flights and down 13 flights every single day...My dad would be horrified that I might get big arms, but it hasn't happened.  Really, one arm doesn't ever get stronger than the other from turning the steering wheel, because its equidistant.  I think it also helps with the batwing problem that many women tend to develop...mine, as it turns out, aren't even as bad as that girl on "The Sweetest Thing" movie...You know, the one that was on the TV show "Married With Children". (Probably because I have much more body fat than she)!  I thought that trek up the 13 flights would get on my nerves, but strangely enough, the parkade does the opposite and soothes me instead for some reason.  The sunlight shines in at all different places and is something new every day.  The pigeons that used to inhabit the place, especially those relieving themselves randomly on my floor and right at the threshold to the elevator/stairwell area, seem to have vacated the premises, at least for the time being.  At times, the wind, rain, and/or snow whip through the open spaces and leave water or ice on the floors. There are barrels of salt and gravel around so the surfaces get these treatments to avoid ice build up.  Overall  though, from first-hand experience, I know you always have to be careful about black ice after September, since the concrete walls and posts are very unforgiving when you hit them.  I am not alone in this.  I witnessed a colleague backing out who peeled off her passenger side mirror on one of the big posts.  She was so embarrassed and worried about what her husband would say. ..especially since it wasn't due to black ice.      :-)   Later when I saw her, she told me the amount of the bill and it was astronomical.  I, sympathized because I myself, had at one time seriously misjudged how much room I had turning left into the vacant spot across from mine.   My vehicle still has a little scratch on it.  I get to park right next to a wall, so usually back in.  That way my passenger door is against the wall, and I can actually get out of my vehicle.

In the last few years, because of car break-ins I assume, parkade attendants have emerged.  These have all been male immigrants who are very respectful, friendly,  and serious about their jobs.  They all have had something in common though...having a hard time staying warm given our prairie winter weather.  Imagine coming from a hot country to here and finding a job where you have to stand or walk around all shift on ice cold concrete.  They are allowed to enter the stairwell where it's warm and watch out the window for trespassers, and that's what you sometimes see.  I absolutely do not blame them.  Not surprisingly, several have come and gone from this challenging position....One used to wrap himself in a blanket in addition to his winter coat and walked around shivering every solid day for months.  One tended to be quite stern and even acted like a traffic cop going out into the busy street, stopping the fast moving traffic in order to help stream the parkade drivers out.   I, for one appreciated it, because we are not far from one of the bridges.  If there is an accident on the bridge, traffic can become grid-locked in short order.  I have sat in my vehicle waiting to get out of the parkade for a couple of hours on more than one occasion.  I know Saskatoon drivers were not ready for his actions, but it was okay by me!   He's gone now and I don't know the details of his departure.  I think a new company may have taken over because there seems to be more than one attendant. The common denominator is that whoever is working stands guard at at a fixed spot close to the entrance moreso than I have ever seen before.  I smile, wave glibly, or nod my head every time I go by and they always make a similiar gesture in return.  They can tell we belong by our colourful parking tag hanging from our rearview mirror.  It's funny to see cars that don't belong.  Generally, they are teens heading for the roof...you can use your imagination.  Other times, they are older folks who try to look nonchalant and think if one stays in the vehicle, the other can just "run in ".  I'm not sure how the new parking guards handle this, but I can imagine.

Electronic doors were installed at the entrance and exit lanes a few years back.  All day they are left wide open, but after hours you have to swipe a FOB to open the entrance door.  On exit the door sensor recognizes the vehicle and the door automatically opens up.  This, however, does not always work as one of my colleagues can attest to.  Last winter, and before the new group of attendants started, more than once, you would go to drive out and see several of the large and long overhead electrical cables ripped out and dangling on the ground just at the exit. This does not give you a good feeling whatsoever.  Had to have been vandals is all I can think.

The parkade elevator is definitely one of a kind.  I have to say, ("touch wood"), that it has most often been quite a reliable unit for me.  For others, maybe not.  It is not the smooth, sophisticated type that you might find elsewhere.  I am not exaggerating when I say it is very rough around the edges.  I say this because it is notorious for bouncing up and down like a trampoline.  It seem like its held together with massive rubber bands. Honestly, at each floor, as it comes to a stop, it physically bounces up and down about three  to four inches, three to four times in rapid succession...with you in it, I might add.  It creaks loudly with every bounce so that no matter what floor you're on, you can hear it coming.  Bouncing and creaking on every stop all the way up to you or back down again.  When you first start riding it, you pray like crazy every trip. Incidentally, people generally only ride it going up...I think we probably hold some sort of record for people using the stairs on the way down and now you know why.  As a matter of fact, I run down 13 flights pretty well every day.  Occasionally, I take the stairs up, but I don't like the feeling that my lungs are bleeding by the time I reach the top.   All the newcomers to the workplaces  in the buildings surrounding the parkade get  started out parking on the top two floors and the fear in them is quite palpable.  You can see it in their eyes on the first bounce.  They laugh that nervous little laugh that people tend to get when they're scared, and you just try not to embarrass them and go about putting them at ease.  Now I know what airline pilots go through.  I don't usually see the same newcomer twice, so I don't know what happens to them.  I do know that they haven't ridden enough to know to press the Ground Floor button when they reach the top floor.  They just get off and forget to send it back down to the rest of us...bless their hearts.  We forgive them though, because we were there once and know they are traumatized.  They soon will learn that the thing takes forever and get the hint without somebody being tempted to put up a sign (like me).  They either quit their jobs or get moved to a lower floor I guess.  I don't know how that happens because my whole office is still relegated to parking on a really high floor. Guess you have to have pull to get moved down, but the last time I had pull was when I was a little kid.  Regardless, I for one have come to enjoy and think fondly of our idosyncratic elevator.  Not only is it not boring, but you get to share it with all types of people you don't even know.  They are every profession you can think of and dressed in all types of different fashion and baggage and it's truly an experience.  Some speak, and some do not, some have flowers or shopping bags full of stuff...but in general, at least 80%, at the end of the day, will wish you a friendly "good evening" and that is a friendly and heartwarming thing to do, don't you think?

The parkade is attached to my building, but you have to go outside the stairwell through a door to the back alley and back in through at least three more doors.  Me, I have three more to go through after that before  I can actually put the key in my personal office door.  All in all, I have to open seven doors between my vehicle and my office.  Do you think that might be just a titch excessive, well...you can get used to anything....As Anthony Hopkins says to Alec Baldwin in "The Edge".... "what one man can do another man can do" and "today I am going to kill the bear"....If you have not seen the movie....do so, it's great!  Out back of the parkade is a back alley area surrounded and shared by several big buildings.  There is a built-in ashtray for smokers and they are often crowded around shivering, catching a quick puff.  At certain times of the day, if you are lucky enough, you will see a street person rifling through the ashtray looking for cigarette butt.  These are some of the joys of parking downtown!  At least you can't say it's boring and I have yet to run into a sasquatch!